i embarrass myself sometimes, stuff best described as not safe for parents, yet another pregnancy scare

Hormones

Hormones are one of those things I don’t understand, alongside nuclear fusion and quantum physics. I just tried reading the wikipedia definition on hormones and I haven’t got the slightest idea what the entire page is talking about. It’s filled with words that have more syllables than I can pronounce. Heck, I’m not even sure it’s written in English. Sometimes I swear wikipedia is just trying to make me feel like a moron. Thanks for the help, wikipedia.

Here’s my definition: A hormone is a great big pain in the ass. When you have too much or too little, it causes mood swings, pimples, weight gain, nausea, headaches, backaches and depression, among other things. It can occasionally give you bigger boobs but for the side effects that come with it, not even worth it.

Remember my contraceptive dilemma? A couple of days ago, I finally went on the pill because I had a feeling that if we keep taking our chances, I’m going to get myself knocked up before the year is out. Now that the kids are getting more manageable and I can fit into my old jeans again, another baby is so not on the cards right now. The last time I went on the pill, it wasn’t pretty because you see, my hormones do not like to be messed with. It was like my baby-making machine knew something was wrong and started going stark raving mad. I was sick, pukey and moody for a couple of weeks until I realized it was caused by the pill. I know because the moment I stopped, it all magically went away. This time, I asked the doctor for something that wouldn’t cause all the side effects and he introduced me this pill called Yasmin. Besides, I have this friend called Yasmin who’s a perfectly nice person and yes, that’s the kind of advanced decision-making skills I have.

Anyway, turns out that Yasmin hates me. Or my hormones. The day I started, I could feel all the symptoms coming back with a vengeance. At first, I thought it was all in my head like that Inception movie but by the second day, I was as edgy and irritable and nauseous and depressed as I had been during the first round. I checked the list of symptoms in the box and what do you know, I had most of them. Then as I read on, the list just got worse, right until I got to the point where I saw weight gain. Talk about crushing irony.

Now why anyone would want to take a pill that makes them gain weight is beyond me. I mean, the whole point of not having another baby is so that I don’t gain another 30 pounds in my ass so I’m certainly not about to help myself retain more fats. I can do that by eating a double quarter pounder with supersized fries and at least, I would have enjoyed the process.

I’m off the pill now and back to Russian Roulette. Seriously, don’t wish me luck.

I got to ask, what contraceptives do you use? If you’re not comfortable leaving a comment, just drop me an email. Help a girl out here.

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48 Comments

  • Reply MieVee @ MummysReviews.com August 11, 2010 at 12:15 am

    Exclusive breastfeeding + the Pill + condom should be quite foolproof.

    I’ve the opposite of your concern: Am planning to have baby #2 and am vexing over menses MIA as the 18-mth old boy still nurses at night.
    MieVee @ MummysReviews.com´s last post ..MEGA Sale- Rumparooz G2 One Size Cloth Diaper Snaps

  • Reply Andrea August 11, 2010 at 8:35 am

    Use the good old condom :) No need to consume anything or fit anything into anywhere. so far so good for me, still only have 2. Oh unless you are allergic… then I am sorry, can’t be of further help cos haven’t tried anything else…

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 12:04 pm

      @Andrea, I’m not allergic unless you consider an overwhelming abhorrence towards oily rubber is an allergy. Urgh

  • Reply Jean August 11, 2010 at 9:05 am

    I’m on the pill, and you got to try different brands until you find the RIGHT one that gives you the least side effects. I’m on Gynera (cheap and good), and I seriously do not suffer from any side effects at all. Hopefully, ypu’ll find an ideal brand with the “right” blend of hormones that suit your body!

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 12:05 pm

      @Jean, I see. Gynera – ok will check that out. I’m not sure I can survive the trial and error stages though.

  • Reply Kam August 11, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Haven’t tried anything but condom.

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 12:05 pm

      @Kam, re: above. Gross gross gross!

  • Reply Ratna August 11, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Condoms r icky!!!!!

    I took yasmin n it worked a charm where some other pill gave me the whole list of hormonal symptoms u mentioned. Love love yasmin!

    I guess it’s trial n error, gd luck!!

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 6:32 pm

      @Ratna, Drats. seems like Yasmin is quite a hit, even from the feedback from some friends. I have to be the odd one out.

  • Reply Momo August 11, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Try Diane? Anyway I’m not fit to recommend or comment. I’m also on the Russian Roulette. Heh. Let’s see who gets shot first for No 3! =D

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 6:36 pm

      @Momo, remember stella (thirdmay) said Diane gave her good skin. what’s with all the names by the way?

      And Dot is barely what, 5-6 months? You must be having serious Momnesia dear.

  • Reply Rachel August 11, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    I am Gynera as well, recommended by my gynae. No extra weight gain or hormones going berserk so far…might want to give it a try. Even for a mom of one, I am not one that will go with chances.
    Rachel´s last post ..PS He did it

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 6:44 pm

      @Rachel, ok I’ll check Gynera out. at least I have some options now. Gah, need to sort this out real soon or you guys will be congratulating me before the turn of the year.

  • Reply bb August 11, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    hi, im hoping to hv #2, but my crazy hormones are not working hard enough ;-(

    i dun need any contraceptive at all. my boy is 4 this yr. no sibling for him yet ;-(

    • Reply Daphne August 11, 2010 at 6:43 pm

      @bb, No contraceptives for 4 years? Woah. I think the only way we can get through “unscathed” for 4 years sans contraceptives will be through ABSTINENCE. Hahah.

  • Reply Jayne August 11, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    You know very well I’m the last person you should take advice about b.c. from! haha.. But way before I had kids, I was on Diane for 2 years. No side effects at all. And yeah, great skin too.
    Jayne´s last post ..Long nap

    • Reply Daphne August 12, 2010 at 11:38 am

      @Jayne, Hey Jayne you did get a two-year break afterall.

      Looks like I need to get to know “Diane” a little bit better after the relationship with Yasmin has gone somewhat awry.

  • Reply Rachel August 11, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    I have a few friends who go for Intrauterine methods or they call it IUD. It is more invasive but I think less side effect than popping pill. A small procedure is performed on the women.
    U may like to check with your gynae

    • Reply Daphne August 12, 2010 at 11:39 am

      @Rachel, I have this thing against IUD, it kinda started because of some advice given to me by someone who I know is a regular reader of this blog so I’m just gonna stop right here.

  • Reply Jus August 11, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Tried Diane, but it really had terrible side effects, was a grumpy weepy bloated monster, though it really gave me great skin, I think its not worth it! I think it varies with people, since I’ve read scary reviews for both Diane and Yasmin, and I don’t want to go there again. Also, I’ve read that these hormones may have long term effects too, so I’ve concluded its best not to tamper with nature. Perhaps just try plotting the cycle and staying clear away during the fertile phase?
    Jus´s last post ..Weekend wanderings- Happy Birthday- Singapore!

    • Reply Daphne August 12, 2010 at 11:40 am

      @Jus, Maybe i should pound up Gynera, Diane and Yasmin to form a pill of my own – “Daphane”, anyone?

      Mispelling intentional btw.

  • Reply LadyRain August 12, 2010 at 1:28 am

    I’m anti-pill as hormones are really not to be tempered with, with all the increased cancer risks and all (not to mention getting FAT!).

    So for me, condoms on fertile days–try Okomoto 003 Aloe Vera. Best so far. Thin and not oily (I so hate that! So hard to wash off my fingers also!) <–Durex sux. :P

    I use ovulation test kit when in doubt. Kinda pricey but cheaper than gynae & delivery ward fees I guess.

    IUD is probably great as it's there to help prevent fertilisation of the egg, except for the fact that if there IS a fertilised egg, it prevents the implantation of that little embryo and causes it to die. To me (and I believe you too!), Christians do believe that life begins from conception, so causing a little life to die is no go too.

    I have three kids. No more taking chances, thankyouverymuch!!

    • Reply Daphne August 12, 2010 at 11:41 am

      @LadyRain, Okomoto 003 Aloe Vera. WOW. Even the name itself seems quite formidable. Hahaha. Thanks for the heads up!

  • Reply Daphne August 12, 2010 at 11:43 am

    By the way, ladies – isn’t the ovulation/fertile period the time where its easier to get in the boom-chica-chica-wow-wow mood? No?

  • Reply The Beauties In Our Lives August 12, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    We do it with the withdrawal method…nice and natural…for years and years and years. Never failed us :) You have to train your man in this ;)
    The Beauties In Our Lives´s last post ..Home Of The Black Swans

  • Reply lxlb August 13, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    what do u mean by russian roulette? =P
    lxlb´s last post ..11 month update

    • Reply Daphne August 13, 2010 at 9:06 pm

      @lxlb, chance. and chances are – hello Travis.

  • Reply lxlb August 13, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    ^ withdrawal works i must say. but it’s not a contraceptive method. U still can get pregnant from pre-ejaculation.
    lxlb´s last post ..11 month update

    • Reply Daphne August 13, 2010 at 9:09 pm

      @lxlb, exactly. I went around telling others WITHDRAWAL AS A BIRTH CONTROL METHOD IS A MYTH! after I got preggers with Tru.

  • Reply JZ August 14, 2010 at 12:18 am

    Well, I’ve tried Yasmin and Gynera. Gynera used to work for me before I was pregnant with my first. Cheap and good. Didn’t work so well after I gave birth – I had heavy flow with it. So I switched to Yasmin which must more expensive but worked better for me – no adverse side effects. According to the doctor, Yasmin and Gynera are similar, except that Yasmin has a lower dosage of hormones.

    And I prefer Okomoto to Durex too if I had to use rubber.
    JZ´s last post ..Medicine

    • Reply Daphne August 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm

      @JZ, Well apparently the low dosage in Yasmin is still way too high for me. Or am I cranky cos they’re too low?

      Okomoto seems to be the preferred choice for those of you on condoms. I know they’ve like a spectacular range with different flavours and all that..

  • Reply Jean August 15, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    I’m on Yasmin and have been for many years now. My gynae keeps telling me to switch to the Mirena IUD but the thought of bleeding for three months straight before the periods stop is not appealing.

    • Reply Daphne August 16, 2010 at 12:20 pm

      @Jean, I HAD no idea that’s what IUD does to you. Three months? No way Jose.

  • Reply M August 16, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    I was on Yasmin and it actually helped me lose the weight but like some of the other comment, trial and error till you find the right pill.

    I also took the jab a few years back and it made me fat :(

    • Reply Daphne August 16, 2010 at 2:55 pm

      @M, Yasmin loves everyone but me. =(

  • Reply wen August 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    came across your site and i love how you are refreshing and brutally honest!!

    keep it up :D

    • Reply Daphne August 20, 2010 at 1:47 am

      @wen, Thanks wen. Very kind of you!

  • Reply Priss August 19, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Hey :)

    I had problems with one pill, and Yasmin worked well with me now. BTW ladies, you can buy them at 2/3 of the price over the pharmacy counter in Malaysia =x

    Also, my doctor recommended me to take the contraceptive pills at night before I go to bed, so I won’t get very bad side effects if any.
    Priss´s last post ..Everyone I Know Has A Blogshop!

    • Reply Daphne August 20, 2010 at 1:48 am

      @Priss, Oh I thought you were SUPPOSED to take them in the morning. Great, now I’m confused as to whether I should get back on Yasmin. Why didn’t I think of that?

  • Reply Daphne Maia August 20, 2010 at 2:32 am

    Okay, I’ve never been on the pill cos I’m scared that my hormones will go bonkers n all that. My girlfriend had really crazy mood swings (to the point of being suicidal) when she went on Yasmin and Diane, so we stopped her from taking pills. Couldn’t stand her back then, man. We were all so tired from dealing with her mood swings.

    So anyway! My skin has been going crazy of late, stress, imbalanced hormones n all, so my doc recommended that I go on the pill. I’m wondering if I should! And anyway, I mentioned Mercilon as a reply to one of the comments above. I heard many good things about it, including no weight gain, good skin, no mood swings etc. But I guess it’s all trial and error. Some brands suit some women but not others, and other brands suit some but not the rest. Y’know. So let’s experiment hahaha.

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