Up Up and Away!

I finally went to watch UP over the weekend to celebrate the husband’s birthday. We’ve been trying to catch it on the big screen since it opened but with the arrival of Kirsten, watching movies is a luxury we could scarcely afford.

We used to put Tru at my mom’s place and pop out for a show but it’s just too cruel to leave her alone with 2 kids. We also contemplated bringing Kirsten along for the show but it’s the kind of thing that gets you crucified by your neighbors so that was the end of that. So with a little help from my mom and a friend, we settled the kids and headed downtown for our first movie in months.

You probably already know the movie rocks big time, so I’m not going to rave about it here. *IT IS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS AND EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT. MULTIPLE TIMES.* Ok, I got that out of my system.

Instead, here are 5 lessons I learnt from Pixar’s latest masterpiece.

1. It’s cute to be fat… Only if you’re under the age of 10.

I had my doubts about placing the weight of an entire movie on the shoulders of an old man and a fat boy, but hey, that’s why I’m not raking in millions from a movie I just produced. I fell in love with Russell, the fat boy Junior Wilderness Explorer from Tribe 54 the moment he stood on Carl’s front porch with his super backpack and pudgy cheeks.

He obviously overdid the chocolate thing, but when you’re 8, nobody’s going to judge you. Heck, you can probably also get away with eating that much chocolate if you’re a 13-foot multicolored bird . What they’re not showing you is what happens to him after he grows up into an obese teenager and eating that much chocolate is no longer cute.

2. When you start to have a gazillion talking dogs, you’re bound to lose your marbles a little.

Case in point: Charles Muntz . Ok, so nobody believed he found the bones of an imaginary creature and he got banished to Paradise Falls, which is clearly NOT paradise at all. But he was still pretty much sane. It’s only when he started breeding dogs like hamsters and making them talk, he turned into a psychotic bird stalker. He’s got them cooking his meals and making him coffee, which is when he started losing his sanity. I bet if he kept fish instead, he wouldn’t have fallen off a moving aircraft.

3. Guys in black suits and shades are EVIL.

Never trust a guy wearing a suit.  They’re always out to run down your mailbox or steal your money or destroy your house. Even when they don’t physically do it themselves, they’re probably still to blame for whatever bad things that happen to you. The next time you stub a toe or break a fingernail, look for the nearest suit and punch him in the gut because he’s likely to deserve it. Only the bad guys wear suits. With shades. Duh.

4. Girly girls are so yesterday.

You don’t have to be into make-up and nail polish to snag the guy. Girls that hold hands and dance around the campfire are so last season. Spunky girls are all the rage now, so feel free to knock out a few teeth, snip off those locks and ditch the miniskirts. In fact, if you really like a guy, go ahead a terrorize him into submission. That’s the key to a marriage that lasts a lifetime.

5. If you need to do some major business in the jungle, dig a hole BEFORE you go and not after.

Nuff said.