Last year started off well enough. I had the cutest kid in the world and another one on the way, this time a girl. My dream of being able to take care of the kids myself had come true. I had just left my job without the faintest idea how we were going to make it through the year. All I knew was that the kids were worth the foregone holidays, shopping sprees and maître d’s.
I was well on my way to having my white picket fences, 5 kids, 3 dogs and a garden of pretty white hydrangeas. Well, almost.
It was a fairly ordinary start to the year. Nothing like the shindigs we used to have before the kids came along. Seeing that I was pregnant and exhausted, a couple of university mates brought the party over to our place so that I could crash after midnight while the soiree continued. I raised my glass, cheered a little, exchanged some pleasantries and went straight to bed.
For me, the new year came without much fuss or commotion. But I went to bed with a nagging suspicion that even though the new year had sneaked up on me, the year ahead was anything but typical. As a matter of fact, it turned out to be one of the wildest years I’ve ever had. Even crazier than the year I got married, went on my honeymoon, shifted to my new place, took a sabbatical from work and went to bible school. Way crazier.
Here’s what I did this year.
1. I pushed an entire baby out of my child bearing bits. It was different from having the obgyn grab the baby out while I lay on the table like a piece of meat. Totally doesn’t count. This time, I managed to do the whole sweaty, screamy thing. It was indescribably satisfying.
2. I lost 30 kg. Without even trying. It was even more satisfying.
3. I went without sleep for the most number of days in a row. It was not satisfying at all.
4. We won the premier league without much of a fight. Again. Somewhat satisfying.
5. I learnt what it means to love. Which is to choose letting them vomit into your mouth over flinging them against the wall. Which is to spend your every waking minute loving them (even the 20 minutes that they’re off throwing a hissy fit). Which is to put them first at the expense of yourself all the time. And not because you have to but because you want to.
6. I walked out of the worst case of depression I’ve ever had in my life. There were days when I thought I’d never walk out of it, but I have. At least the worst is already over.
7. I started a blog, which has turned out to be one of the best things I’ve done. It’s opened up a whole community of mothers who’s been through all of it and worse and still managed to keep it all together. To all the people I’ve met in the blogosphere, you are all awesome.
8. I survived the year without having a job. Technically, I do have a job but in some countries, being a slave is doesn’t count as a real job. The thing is that we made it. Without needing to sell any of my internal organs.
9. I grew as a person. I feel like I’ve aged, but in a good way. These days, I feel less and less like a kid and more as an adult. We’ve all got to grow up sometime. This year, it was my time to grow up.
10. I went from mom to supermom.
My favorite quote from Ally Mcbeal is this. If you think back, and replay your year – if it doesn’t bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted. This year, it’s got plenty of both. It’s been one hell of a tough year. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much in my life. But it’s been a good year and I’ve never been happier.
So here’s to 2010. They say in 2010, we’ll have time travel, flying capsules and robots to do our bidding. Or not. Either way, have a good one this year.
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