I need more hands

Yesterday marked the first day I stayed home with the kids ALONE and all I could think of the whole day was OMG THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER DONE. No seriously, it’s no joke. First of all, I only have 2 hands, and technically, I suppose Wonder Woman could carry a child in each hand, but for me, it’s a physical impossibility. It’s at the moments when I have 2 kids clamoring for attention that I wish I had some spare limbs sticking out from my ass.

Ever since the delivery, I’ve had help from my mom, my in-laws and even a friend who offered to watch Tru for a whole day so I could spend some time alone with Kirsten. Yesterday, I decided it was time to go it alone. Did I already say it was tough? It’s like one non-stop, never ending party.

When I was taking care of 1 kid, I thought it was hard work, but on retrospect, it’s a walk in the park and I can totally do it with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. With 2 babies, I have double the diapers to change, double the baths, double the feeds and a million times the insanity. There’s no such thing as a breather and I almost peed in my pants because I didn’t even have time to run to the toilet. Guess that’s what adult diapers are for.

I used to look at mothers who can raise multiple kids alone without and help and wonder how they do it. Perhaps they’re a new breed of X-men with extra limbs tucked neatly in their clothes or they can split themselves into two or they can move at the speed of light or they’ve got a bunch of Oompa Loompas stashed in their storeroom. But I discovered the secret yesterday and I’m going to let you in on it.

It’s just a lot of hard work. These women are superheroes not because of some secret special powers but because they’re tremendously resilient. Because they somehow find it in them to give that little bit of extra. Because they make it work. And because when all else fails, there’s always Xanax to the rescue. Or some bourbon.

For example, multitasking is a necessity. I can carry Kirsten with one hand and cook Tru’s lunch with the other. I can sing lullabies while bathing one kid. I can even blog while burping the baby. And I also learn to make use of all my body parts in ways I never thought possible. Like halfway while feeding Tru his lunch, Kirsten woke up crying for milk, so I propped her up on my leg and used my chin to hold the bottle in place so my hands were free to continue feeding Tru his porridge. Ingenius, I know.

On days like these, I just want to run and hide while sticking my fingers in my ears to drown out the screaming. I just wish I had some special powers. That would be so much easier.