Yes, you heard right. I want another (few more) of those snuggly little humans that scream all night and poop all the time. I am fully aware of the fact that it’s a severe case of the momnesia kicking in but BABIES! All sweet and cuddly and warm and cute and nice-smelling. I really want some more. Soon.
Over dinner today, I casually dropped the question on the husband.
Me: Hows your noodles?
Kel: Pretty good. Want some?
Me: I was thinking that 5 kids would be nice. All the kids running around the house, so awesome, right?
Kel: Very awesome. Sure, we can do 5.
Me: Like soon?
*This is the point he starts turning a bit pale.
Kel: Soon… like in another 3 years, just like we discussed, remember?
Me: Mmm, how about a little earlier, like 1 and a half?
*At which point he stops eating his noodles completely. By now, his color is best described as ashen.
Kel: Haha, you’re kidding right? Good one.
Me: Actually I’m serious. I think we can handle it. 2 more babies back to back, we’ve done it before, no problem.
Kel: I think you should read your own archives from July last year. You need to get rid of this momnesia before it escalates out of control.
Me: I was totally overreacting last year, all that postpartum hormones. And just think of 5 kids! We’ve even got names already.
Kel: I’m going home to print out the archives and paste them on the wall.
The rest of that conversation went something like 5 KIDS SO FUN! blah blah blah THEY WILL PLAY TOGETHER! blah blah blah THEY CAN ALL BE BEST FRIENDS! blah blah blah ECONOMIES OF SCALE! blah blah blah BABY SMELL! TINY BOOTIES! DISNEYLAND! I WANT BABIES!!!
I obviously drowned out the part about “SWOLLEN ANKLES, GINORMOUS ASS, OMG 27 HOURS OF LABOR, EPISIOTOMY, POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION, SCREAMING BABY, SORE NIPPLES…”
Finally, Kel was all like “you do realize we’ll have even less of a life than we have now, and I’m not even sure if that’s possible. I’ll have to take on 3 more jobs and come back just in time for the middle-of-the-night feed while you shuffle around like a bad-tempered zombie. Postpartum, you’ll be crabby and upset and stressed out and we’ll never have another moment of peace and quiet for the next 5 years. Or sleep, for that matter.”
I nodded. “But sure babe, if you think we’re ready, then let’s make another baby. *boom-chica-wow-wow* But we’ll have to give it another year and a half before we start trying ok. You know we’re not going to need a lot of time to try.”
And that is why I’m so in love with this man.