side effects of motherhood

Motherhood – the gift that doesn’t stop giving

You know how people always say that motherhood is a gift? Nay, not just a gift, but a great, big, giant hamper of tiny little gifts just waiting to pop out and yell “SURPRISE” just when you least expect it.

The longer I’ve been a mom, the more I find this to be true. Except that some of these gifts I welcome with open arms but then there are those that I’d much rather not have, thankyouverymuch. It’s like Motherhood is this mean old woman who’s handing over a shiny box filled with worms and I’m like “um thanks, but I’ll pass” and she’s all “no, take it” and I’ll be all “no, seriously, there’s really no need, I’m good” and she shoves it into my hands with a snarly “I SAID TAKE IT” and then disappears.

Sort of like that, but worse because I’d take worms over these presents any day. Ok just to illustrate my point, here are some of them.

1. Broken Bladder. 

Oh, yes. Ever wonder why some women stop dead in their tracks when they have to sneeze? Because after you have a baby, it’s physically impossible to walk and sneeze at the same time without peeing your pants a little. Or a lot. Whenever I feel a sneeze coming on, I have to casually find a nice spot to sit for a minute or so until I’m done.

2. Lopsided Boobs

These were my boobs before I had kids.

These are my boobs now.

Nuff’ said.

3. Stretch Marks.

If you’ve ever attempted to put concealer on your stomach area in an effort to reduce the visible signs of stretch marks while wearing your bikini, bring it on in for a hi-5. No? Just me then.

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Regina March 13, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    We love our kids.
    Love involves sacrifice… lots and lots of it.

    So glad that I’m not alone with the bladder prob, boobs and marks!
    Did I also mention the hips have also stretched from here to China? :D
    Regina´s last post ..The ‘Pragmatic’ Me.

    • Reply Daphne March 15, 2012 at 11:36 am

      Ah yes the hips. I told the husband they’re never going back to the way they were before so just get used to it.

  • Reply Susan March 13, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    You forgot to mention hips that will never return to their former glory again. Oh and the eye bags from lack of sleep and the hoarse voice from being a broken record going, No, no, no! But we do get plenty of joy watching them act silly, being all cute and cuddly and a bonus when they are oh so sweet!
    Susan´s last post ..Merry Mondays {Linky party} – Learning Chinese

    • Reply Daphne March 15, 2012 at 11:39 am

      True that. At least they are cute enough to make up for it..

  • Reply Rhapsgirl March 14, 2012 at 5:14 am

    Too funny and too true! I’ll let you know how I get on with number 3 during the summer holiday.

    • Reply Daphne March 15, 2012 at 11:40 am

      All the best with #3!

  • Reply San March 15, 2012 at 1:38 am

    Awww… the size of those oranges and the tomatoes are about right, but methinks you kinda screwed up on the size of the ni… belly button like-thingy. :P
    San´s last post ..Night-night time

    • Reply Daphne March 15, 2012 at 11:42 am

      Hahahahahah nice one. I couldn’t find oranges with adequately sized you-know-whats so these will have to do.

  • Reply Bun Bun Makeup Tips March 16, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    At least you still can wear a bikini after childbirth! Not too bad what! You mean the boobs will be of uneven sizes or both will shrink to the size of the tomato? I thought I read before that the boobs will become larger because they expand during pregnancy for breastfeeding. Aiya I duno.
    Bun Bun Makeup Tips´s last post ..Eyeshadow Tutorial for Asian Eyes Part 5 – Horizontal Gradient Method

  • Reply SuperMum Ling March 16, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    I had a good laugh because I’m so not alone in the pee-y thingy. Yes, and that heppens when I cough too.
    SuperMum Ling´s last post ..Time to Build Immunity

  • Reply Yola May 23, 2012 at 9:08 am

    Its too funny, but this is real when you have a kid right. You are experiencing with this. I got breast feeding for my kids and usually my boobs have not the same size. Because, My baby wanted to feed at the right side. That’s why my boobs are not the same.
    Yola´s last post ..stretchmarks24

  • Leave a Reply

    CommentLuv badge