I’m kind of an expert on pregnancy because I’ve done it twice and everyone knows that if you do something twice, you start to really kick ass at it. I hate to boast but I’m very good at being pregnant. I’m like a natural. In fact, I’m trying very hard to be less good at it. Some skills in life you don’t really need and this is probably one of them.
But that is exactly why I’m qualified to dish out pregnancy advice to people who aren’t so good at it. Unless you’ve already got 8 kids then I throw myself at your mercy, Grand Master (sextuplets only count as 1, so I’m totally on par with the Gosselins).
So here goes. Advice #1. Don’t buy pregnancy clothes.
Because most of them look like curtains. You know the kind I’m talking about, the shapeless dresses in pastel colors with the large ribbon around the center. (We all get that your baby is a gift, there’s no need to be that painfully obvious). Also, having a huge ass is enough ammo for people to crack jokes at your expense and you really shouldn’t help them.
That’s unless of course you buy designer togs. Except that maternity couture is even more expensive than regular ones (you didn’t think that all that extra cloth was free, did you?) and you’d end up wearing the same $300 pants everyday without washing for 6 months. Which is kind of gross. And then people will still laugh at you.
I was prepared to wear oversized sweats everyday, until I found out about Maternity Exchange’s rental program. I was kind of iffy about the whole idea at first because one time I got a bag of hand-me-downs from my friend’s cousin’s somebody and it smelt like the underpants of that somebody with very bad body odor who died. Suffice to say, I did not wear it. So the first thing I did when I stepped into the shop was to take a big whiff of the clothes. But they all smelt pretty good.
I found the range to be decent and some of them could probably be cheaper but it’s not cool to haggle with couture.
Now, if you didn’t listen to my advice and went out to buy a truckload of maternity clothes and they’re now moth bait in the back of your drawers, it’s not too late. The guys at MX have launched a ‘Buy My Love’ program and while they may not actually be able to afford your love, they are willing to buy some of your maternity pieces for their collection. That’s almost half as cool as packing them up and sending it all over to some third world country where they’ll make some very pregnant girls very happy.
Speaking of which, I’m very happy to be announcing a new giveaway. There’s 2 (two) $50 Maternity Exchange vouchers up for grabs and you’ll be able to pick out some fancypants maternity wear.
To enter this giveaway, just answer the following question in the Comments section of this post: What’s your favorite maternity outfit? I’ll go first. Yoga pants and a singlet.
Winners will be chosen using a highly scientific (read: random) method and announced on 14 Feb.
And since we are all winners, you’ll all be getting a $10 MX voucher and all you need to do is head town to their flagship store at Marina Square and shout “I love Mother, INC”. I’m just kidding. About the shouting bit. You can whisper it if you want and they’ll still give you the voucher. Happy shopping.
UPDATED: Using my very scientific random generator…here are the winners!
Congratulations to Chrystal and Jen! You gals will be contacted via email for details.