It’s taken me 25 days to settle into the new year. I usually put off my resolutions till the frenzy of the new year has abated and the dust has settled somewhat and I have a clearer picture of the year ahead. Then I sit down and think of all the awesome stuff I plan to do this year, like adopt a child (wait, done that, check) and NOT have another baby.
I’m not big on resolutions either. I usually forget all about my resolutions by Feb and conveniently lose the paper I scribbled it down on so that I can blame it on my memory instead of my resolve.
But this year, I have a feeling it’s going to be different. Better.
Here are my resolutions for the year.
1. Not get pregnant again.
You’d think that this would be a no brainer but you obviously haven’t met me. Apparently my ovaries are overachievers and Superdad, I’m not even going to go there. Just take it from me that if I survive the year without getting pregnant, SUCCESS! That’s taking into account that condoms are only 80% effective and vasectomies are cheating. I still intend to have Travis and Hailey sometime in the distant future.
2. Learn to cook.
Cooking is not my thing. All those hours spent chopping and dicing and washing can be put to better use ordering KFC and playing Final Fantasy. I’ve been known to whip up some mind-blowingly good spreads on occasion but I attribute it to my general ability to kick ass at most things I do. Except math and sewing and quantum physics and rocket science. Those, I’m not so good at.
Besides, I’ve got a theory. Cooking good food is an incentive for my kids to want to come home for dinner. Kids are like hounds. They can sniff out good food from a mile off and they will gravitate towards it. Plus, they’ll bring all their friends over to eat and you’ll be the cool mom that bakes better than Betty Crocker. If your food sucks, they’ll find excuses to hang around their friends whose moms can beat you at black pepper crab.
3. Drop another 5kg.
Baby girl has been draining out all my fats so I’m 5kg away from my pre-pregnancy weight. All this without having to diet or exercise. In fact, all I do is sit around and eat while attaching flanges to my boobs. In 4 months, I dropped 20kgs without even breaking a sweat. But the last 5 has been pesky to say the least. The weight loss seems to have stagnated and I’m starting to get a little worried. I’m also considering weaning her off breastmilk completely sometime in the next 6 months. That does not bode well for my ass.
4. Spend alone time with the husband.
Especially since Kirsten was born, it’s been impossible to have any time alone with the husband. And I mean time that we are not doing laundry or washing dishes or expressing milk. We need to go out again like we used to. I don’t care if we’re eating McD’s under a bridge. We need to take time off to relax and do crazy things like touch the bottoms of random strangers or tell a burly indian man who seems like he could beat your head in that “I am your father“.
5. Pay attention to the kids.
It’s easy to be around the kids but not really be around. Sometimes I get so swamped by the routine and all the chores that I’m like an all-in-one factory line. That’s when I gotta drop everything and go crazy with the kids so that they know they’re more important than everything else. It’s not going to hurt if they eat frozen pizza for a day because mommy was too busy playing pirates and robbers.
That’s enough for now. On retrospect, 5 seems like an awful lot of resolutions. Maybe I’ll just start with #1.
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