I realize that I haven’t done lists for a while, which is weird because I really love lists. I make lists of everything, and I mean everything, like where to hide from zombies (Bill Murray’s house) to the most delightful breakfast options (anything with bacon) to the best places to get tattoos (body parts, not parlors).
Today’s special will be my Top 5 Worst Parenting Moments hall of fame. Wait a minute, you say, isn’t parenting all about snowflakes and glitter? What about all those cute baby moments? We’d like more of those please.
Only except that it’s not. Here’s a newsflash: Being a mom is one hell of a tough job. According to my latest poll (which I love almost as much as lists), here are the top 3 most difficult jobs in the world.
1. Astronaut
2. Mom
3. Neurosurgeon
I know that’s hard to believe because your neighbor’s cousin’s friend’s aunty twice-removed who hoards newspapers and showers once a week is also a mom, but if you look hard enough, you’ll probably also find a neurosurgeon who performs procedures with an scalpel fashioned out of rocks. So just because anyone can make babies doesn’t mean that raising them is a walk in a the park.
Alright then, to the list we go:
1. Being stuck in a jam for over an hour alone with both kids.
Traffic jams are are to kids what kryptonite is to Superman, what Delilah is to Samson, what sunlight is to Dracula – it sends them ballistic. Crap, the analogies are awful, so scratch that, let me illustrate with a pie chart instead. Kindly direct your attention to the chart below.
As long as the vehicle is moving, there’s only an 11% chance they’ll lose it but once the car is stationary, their scream button gets activated immediately. One time, I was stuck in a jam for 90 minutes with both kids at the back and it remains till this day the worst parenting experience ever. Suffice to say, there was a lot of screaming, whining, complaining and for-the-last-time-be-quiet-ing. These days, I avoid traffic jams like the plague.
2. The time Truett fell into the pool and almost drowned
For some bizarre reason only known to him, he insisted on removing his arm floats in the wading pool. I was carrying Kirsten in the water and wasn’t prepared for a meltdown and I figured the water was too shallow for him to drown so I obliged. Next thing I knew, he disappeared into the water and even though I was barely two arm’s length away, it took me 5 seconds to reach him without submerging Kirsten as well. It was the most terrifying five seconds of my life.
3. The first 3 months after Kirsten was born
Technically not a moment, but a series of 7,257,600 moments of please-God-make-this-stop-it’s-killing-me. I don’t know what I was thinking attempting to look after a newborn and an almost toddler all by myself while battling post-natal depression. If you missed all that drama, you can look back at the archives from 13 July 2009, but only if you have days to burn and lots of alcohol to go with it. Or if you’re feeling depressed and would like some company, but don’t blame me if your depression goes into a tailspin, I’m just trying to help.
4. When all of us fell sick at the same time
Having one sick kid is stressful. Having two sick kids is worse. Having two sick kids, a sick husband and a sick me is like Nightmare on Elm Street (literally). Zombies shuffling – check. Screaming – check. Puking – check. Clawing at ankles – check. To be honest, I haven’t actually watched the show because I don’t watch horror at all (the last time I watched anything remotely scary was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) but I’m pretty sure it’s got all the same elements.
5. And that’s all I’ve got
This exercise is turning out to be way more draining than I thought and also, I really don’t have 5 things, which is not because I make this motherhood thing so easy but I suppose being a mom is mostly all snowflakes and glitter after all. So go make more babies because they are totally awesome and not that bad as long as you don’t get stuck in jams or fall ill or let do retarded things like almost letting them drown.
29 Comments
Of all, I still think you cope well as a mum but still number 2 sound really scary!
For number 4, I think you have a very good mum to turn to. If you and your hubby are sick, maybe can consider asking your mum to pop over to help u?
I thought we are immuned to number 1, No?
.-= sunflower´s last blog ..Child Care Centre Hunting G1.1 =-.
@sunflower, You are right, indeed my mother has been our life-saver and that’s why we made her this video. Thanks again mama.
@Daphne, I watched the Video twice and everytime I watched it, it make me teary.
I hope my child will love me as much as you love your mama!
@sunflower, I’m sure Yvette will be yah? She’s a real sweetie.
@Daphne, hmmm, you have tat question mark there???
Seriously, as a mum, I always feel our success is not measure by how well we raise our child, it is how much they love us in return.
Although everyone of us knowing, being a parent, giving our child unconditional love is the min. requirement. And I am very sure…. all of us, want our child to love us back dearly!
@sunflower, I understand where you’re coming from.
My take on this is that people ultimately make their own choices, as parents we do what we can but our kids have to choose correctly too. I’m sure you’ve seen it – three children growing up under the same environment yet end up living very different lives, and certainly having different levels of “filial piety”.
For me, I just love them as much as I can, teach them as well as I can, and just pray that they’ll make the right choices in life. I don’t give myself too much pressure like that.
Hi Daphne,
TQ for leaving a note at my blog ;)
your list #1 made me laughed, how smart of you to creat a pie chart!
your list #2 freak me out. gosh, that’s too much to take for any mommy.
as for list #4, we just had that about a month ago. it sucks! LOL
.-= rachel´s last blog ..When Bored With Toys, What’s Next? =-.
@rachel, thanks for popping by!
Words cannot describe the sheer panic I was in for #2. Not funny at all.
#4, well that’s the thing with having kids, isn’t it? One falls sick, the other gets infected, and eventually the adults succumb as well. So we all crawl around and claw at each other ankles.
I’ve already experienced #1 and I’ve learnt to filter out the screaming (yes my barely 2 mth old knows how to scream).
Thanks for the heads up for #2!! Wow I would have had recurring nightmares about that.
I’ve had #3 and #4 too so you’re not alone. I think we have to all go through these stages so that we would qualify as moms.
@Momo, is it me or do girls scream a lot more? Seems like its really biological after all.
Kirsten screams a fair bit (its borderline screechy but generally within still acceptable sonic levels), Truett doesn’t. Bean doesn’t seem like the screamy type too, no?
Post natal depression seemed like such a big deal before I became a mum and me being the non-emo type I thought it wouldn’t be an issue for me. Boy was I wrong. I’m not sure how I survived those months, really.
@Daphne, Yes she screams a lot more and more drama when she cries. But she’s also more affectionate and cuddly.
Bean? Bean’s a robot baby. I don’t recall him crying much even. But now as an irritating toddler, he whines and yells with tears. So I guess it’s just as bad.
I was just like you, non-emo type. I only knew I got hit by PND when I started weeping at this Taiwanese singing contest show when this contestant got ousted. Shane was staring at me. Haha.
@Momo, HAHAHA. Hey at least your PND seems more like a hit-and-run thing?
For me its more like hit-and-then-reverse-over-twitching-body-and-hit-again.
I read one blogger who punched a hole in her door when her husband used up her ice chips in the fridge. Now that’s PND in full-force for you.
@Daphne, Nah, I didn’t punch a hole or have it as bad as you. I only yelled at my MIL twice and made her cry. Heh.
@Momo, Hahaha. Your PND symptons are hilarious.
When I first glanced at your reply I thought you punched your MIL.
I got tensed up when reading #2, I can imagine the panic moment you went thru.
I had mild post-natal and it’s really not funny, no men can ever understand how bad it can get.
For #4, I usually starts take med once I feel the virus building inside. I rather eat med early then to feel like a walking zombie plus taking care of sick people at the same time.
.-= lazymummy´s last blog ..A good deal =-.
@lazymummy, You know what? I think I’ll revisit my multivits and supplements again. I used to take them religiously before I had the kids, ironically once they arrived I just didn’t follow up with the daily regimen anymore.
Totally agree with number 3 even though I am not a mum. But I know how my wife felt it (I guess all husbands will say this. :) )
Lovely post as usual.
@Hendra, you men will never understand! So be very nice to your wife, haha.
Hmmm… I’d make a swop between neurosurgeon and teacher. But that’s just me! #2 was really scary… and I can understand how #4 feels! And oh man, those days after popping… really are tough!
.-= Jus´s last blog ..Its a working Wednesday… =-.
@Jus, I actually forgot HOW tough it was, writing this post made me read back some of the stuff and I wrote back then and the memories made me shudder a little.
Just when i thought “momnesia” was starting to kick in!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Yr pt. #2 reminds me of the time when we were on a cruise. My husband jumped into the pool thinking it was shallow, and it did look shallow. But he fell right in. Problem was he was carrying our eldest who was 2.5 yrs old then. My heart stopped for that 3 secs when father and son disappeared into the water. So take heart, you’re not the only parent who nearly drowned your boy!
@Ing, Ok THAT made me shudder even more. My goodness. I’m not sure what you had to say to the husband after that!
Well, I didn’t SAY anything to him. I just BLASTED at him. But at that point I was just thankful that our boy was alright.
@Ing, I’m sure he got a earful from you to go with a mouthful of water!
I love this post! I tried to think hard to come up with my worst 5. But surprisingly, my 2.5 years of motherhood has been (and hopefully will be) smooth sailing, thanks goodness!
For your #1, my kids are surprisingly good in the car. They can survived up to 2 hours traffic jam at the causeway without any major whinning. But the pie chart you did was really cool!
For your #2, my hubby purposed carried my #1 and slided down a slide into a 2m pool, they went totally immerged in the pool for a few seconds, but I was not worried at all. When they came up, my son demanded for another round!
For your #3, I didn’t have any PND after #2. But I had a bad full 2 months when my #2 couldn’t sleep well at night. Now that it’s all over and I am enjoying them more and more each and everyday.
For your #4, proud to say, never happened in our household. We are the healthy ones, seldome falling sick. And guess what? None of us are on any vitamins or multivits or supplements, nothing at all. We leave it to the natural healing power of our body (immune system) and that amazingly works well so far (finger crossed!).
But ya, have to agree, being a mum is one of the most challenging job in the world. So kudos to you, for being a great SAHM!
@Kam, Hey I think you must be Mother Teresa, reborn. Wait, Mother Teresa didn’t have kids, did she?
Um, the point is, you’re cool, you don’t get PND, you don’t panic when your hubby+kid are in a perilous situation (ok I guess its only perilous to ME), you and your kids don’t fall sick, your baby had just TWO?? months of bad sleep at night?
I don’t know what to say. You win. If I ever give out awards on this blog for Supermom you’ll walk right into the finals. Heck, I’ll print your name on the trophy already.
Daphne,
From the beginning of our parenthood, we agreed and we try to be a very calm parent. We learn to be (very) relax with our kids. Ya, we try to be cool parents. I am not a supermom, but just a very lucky mum with easy to handle kids (and mind you, I am a FTWM, not like you, a SAHM who has to face your darlings 365/24/7).
I got hooked on your blog, I am reading your blog every now and then. Think it will take me a long while to finish reading all your posts. Do I get a reward after I have done with that :-)
BTW, you have the same birthday as my mum! So I won’t forget your birthday, ever.
@Kam, thank you, SUPER MOM! Note to self: be cool. All. The. Time.
Same birthday as your mom? Wow, I was blog-surfing last night and chanced upon two kids with the same birthdate as Truett. It’s a small world!
As for the reward, let’s see, I’ll give you a 200-question quiz and if you get above 90%…hahah, just kidding! i’m very flattered by your words. I’m just amazed anyone is even remotely interested in my life. You guys are awesome!
[…] toys. See, that’s the difference between parents and non-parents. If you’ve ever been stuck with 2 babies for more than 5 minutes, their incessant nagging/screaming about how bored they are will drive you to drown yourself out of […]