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sleep training

not feeling so supermom

Return of the Sleep Tyrants

Right from the time the kids were born, we were certain co-sleeping wasn’t going to work for us. From a very practical perspective, there just wasn’t enough space and while the idea of sleeping with a baby seems so irresistibly sweet, the actual doing is considerably more uncomfortable.

The sweetness lasts for 3 minutes and after that, they turn into little sleep tyrants. They do windmills on the bed, monopolise every inch of space and before I know it, I’m squeezing myself into a 50cm strip of space on my bed.

Occasionally, their diaper leaks and I find myself waking up in a puddle of pee. That’s not my own. Not that I wake up in my own pee regularly (or at all) but it’s so much worse waking up in someone else’s pee. If I had to wake up in a puddle of pee, I’d choose my own any day. Just like if I ever got stung by a jellyfish, I’d much rather pee on myself than have someone else do it.

So from the beginning, we were diligent in getting them to sleep on their own beds. We did up a gorgeous nursery, bought them supercool toddler beds, gave them cold turkey and taught them to sleep on their own, feeling mighty proud of ourselves.

But…and you know there’s a but because there’s ALWAYS a but. The ‘but’ sometimes comes in the form of a dark stormy night when the kids wake up crying with nightmares. Or a persistent virus that requires through-the-night supervision. Or just a moment of weakness coupled with puppy dog eyes.

And when the ‘but’ happens, everything goes belly up very quickly.

Which explains why the nursery has been unused for several months now. The latest sleeping arrangement involves 2 mattresses laid out in our room every night and you’d think it’s for the kids to sleep but more often than not, we find ourselves on the mattresses while the kids usurp our bed.

We’ve been wanting to restart the sleep training but the though of having to sit in their room for hours through the night terrifies me. On good days, I get to crawl into bed at midnight and an hour in, I have to stumble my way into the nursery because one of them is awake and asking to sleep in our room. So let’s see, option 1 is to sit there with them till they fall asleep or option 2, cave and let them come over so we can all get some decent sleep.

Right now, we’re even contemplating turning the nursery into our secret back up sleeping room but they’re probably going to invade that too.

Seriously, how do you guys do it?

stuff best described as not safe for parents

Sleep training update: Momma wins this round

Did I already mention that my life has been in a state of affliction ever since Tru started sleeping on his new bed? He’s been getting up several times every night crying and one of us has to go in and sit beside him till he falls asleep, which can take up to a whole hour. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. IN THE DARK. Sometimes, I would fall off my chair and cause a ruckus, which was actually counterproductive. That’s not to mention the 30 minutes I spend trying to get him to sleep in the first place.

I’ve got to make sure he’s truly asleep before I tiptoe out because I tried sneaking out too soon and ended up being busted by the sleep-deprivation mafia. It was like a flashback to my sneaking back home past curfew days as a teenager. Thanks to all that training, I can enter and exit rooms without so much as a squeak. But my son, he can detect your presence by the oxygen balance in the room. Either that or he’s psychic.

I also tried shifting my chair nearer and nearer to the door but he doesn’t care where I am as long as I’m inside the room. When I shifted my chair outside the door (leaving a small crack so he can still see me), he goes ballistic and climbs off to come stand beside me.

In the past week, I must have carried him back to his bed at least 1000 times. I lost count after a thousand. But the good thing is that now I have arms of steel. Silver lining.

As the week wore on, it was becoming apparent that our methods were not working so we decided to show hand, as it were. We put him in his bed, kissed him goodnight and left the room. The first night, it was like we unleashed a very angry bobcat in the room. Every 10 minutes, we would go in to calm him down and tuck him in again. 40 minutes in, he finally stopped and fell asleep on his bed. That’s when we did our victory lap. If he had ended up slumped over the floor, we would have been so guilty that we’d spend the next year sitting beside his bed every night. I would end up snappish and foul-tempered and eventually become the crazy woman with a hundred cats.

Instead, we now sleep through the night again because ever since then, he hasn’t woken up once. Also, the shrieking has gotten shorter and shorter. Last night, it took him 3 minutes before he fell asleep. And it was more of a whine rather than a shriek so that’s a good sign.

Update: I put him down tonight and NO CRYING. He didn’t even attempt to get off his bed. He just looked at me with resignation, flipped over and slept. That, my friends, is an out of the park and into the stratosphere kind of home run. VICTORY.