how i pretend to be a cool mum, lists you should paste on your fridge, stuff best described as not safe for parents

To game or not to game

Gaming runs in my blood. My brother is a gamer, my sister is a social gamer (she does it when I’m missing a player and I force her to), I’m a gamer and I married a gamer. When I took a shopping trip to Bangkok with my mom and my sis, the husband was over at my house gaming with my brother for 5 days straight (most days without sleeping). Me, I spent 90 hours on Final Fantasy XII alone and I’m pretty sure I’ll top that when FF XIII is out.

So it’s not surprising that my son is also a gamer. I say you can tell a gamer from the way they hold a controller because it’s your best friend, your weapon. You can’t just hold it like it’s a potato. The grip must be firm but not too tight and your fingers must have enough room to maintain dexterity. This you can’t teach.

While some parents freak out at the fact that their kids are playing computer games at 7, I’m proud to say that my 17-month-old boy holds a controller like a pro. Peruse exhibit A.

truett controller

That's how you hold a controller. See the concentration it takes.

That's Winning Eleven. No fighting games till he turns 21.

That's Winning Eleven. No fighting games till he turns 21.

You should probably know by now that my parenting style is rather unorthodox. I know all about the research that shows a correlation between gaming and violent behavior in children (if you try hard enough, you can also find correlation between a caterpillar and ballroom dancing). And the argument that it hinders social development or promotes parasocial interaction. And the fact that it’s bad for the eyes, or how the flickering light can cause epilepsy.

But in my defense, here’s what I’ve got to say. Gaming is wonderful because

1. It trains your fingers to be dexterous. Everyone knows that dexterous fingers are vital to becoming a surgeon. (just watch Grey’s Anatomy) So just look at it as giving him a headstart to becoming a top class cardiovascular surgeon. I bet Christina Yang can kick some serious ass at Viva Pinata.

2. It trains you to think fast and think out of the box. How else would you be able to rescue the princess and fight your way out of a burning castle with 20,000 minions with katanas on your tail? Mental strength and creativity, that’s how.

3. It relieves stress through catharsis. You have a crappy day and gaming helps you to let off some steam. It’s not good to keep all that bad emotions bottled up inside because then you become a sullen, angsty teen that uses your parents as punching bags. The secret to a happy and *fulfilled* childhood is to take it out on all the baddies in Metal Gear Solid 4.

4. You can learn to play musical instruments and eventually form a real rock band like the Jonas Brothers U2 and become a superstar. If you want to succeed, you can’t be sitting around on your ass pretending to do assessment books because you’re afraid your mother is going to whip your ass. It takes practice. On Rock Band 2.

5. You can play computer games for a living and get rich by winning competitions. Now that’s job satisfaction for you.

literally a crappy post, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Love is

I dare say, very few things gross me out as a mom. Not after I’ve been vomited, peed and pooped on with poop of various consistencies. I’ve had my son draw a mural on the floor with his own crap. One time, a stray piece of poop was found under the sofa, and by the time we found it, it looked like it was alive because it was buzzing with flies. Don’t ask.

Suffice to say, my tolerance for all things gross is legendary. For example, I can scrape crap off his diaper with my bare hands without flinching. After a while, you think that you’ve seen it all but the thing with kids, they are a lot more creative than you give them credit for.

Last week, baby Kirsten has raised the grossness stakes and it is the best one yet.

So usually, I like to sit her on my chest while I’m lying down on the bed and sing to her. It’s one of our favorite daily activities. Sitting on momma’s chest and listening to me belt out Jason Mraz. She’ll put her face real close to mine and gaze into my eyes, which is awfully sweet and very good for bonding time.

Except that this time, I must have been jiggling her too much and right in the middle of my I’m Yours rendition, she regurgitated and threw up right INTO MY MOUTH and all over the rest of my face. (I swear some went into my eye) On retrospect, it was like I was asking for it because 1. gravity works against me by pulling the stream of vomit downwards towards my face, 2. my heartfelt number requires me to open my mouth real wide and 3. with her sitting on my chest, there is absolutely nowhere to run without flinging her off me.

These are moments in life where things happen very fast but when you are at the receiving end, your mind processes it in slow motion and there was a split second where I was thinking “I’m pretty sure baby girl is about to vomit into my mouth and I should do something about it. I think I should close my mouth. But what if it hits me in the eye? Does that mean I’m going to go blind? Maybe I should catch it with my mouth so that it doesn’t blind me. Oh crap.” Yes, my brain processes all that information in a split second.

Now that I think about it, I should have gone with closing both my mouth but my ninja reflexes failed me when I needed them most and I got thrown up on good and proper.

The silver lining is that I learnt something new from this and I’ll share it with you so you don’t have to learn it the hard way.

Love is having someone vomit into your mouth and not freaking out because you don’t want to scare her, so you take a moment to put her down gingerly, wipe the puke from your eyes and proceed to throw up the entire contents of your lunch.

Also, when somebody is about to vomit on your face, close both your eyes and your mouth.

Comic Relief, kids inc

Brothers and sisters

Despite the insanity of having kids back to back, I’m more convinced than ever that it’s really awesome to have a sibling to grow up with. Spacing out the gap is easier on the parents but the bigger the age difference, the tougher it is for them to be best friends. I always wished I had a twin to play with, but having a brother who was a year older was pretty cool too.

As a kid, you can spend 15 minutes fussing over a baby, but after a while, you want to play with kids your age. And when you’re a teenager, it’s not cool when your 7-year-old kid sister wants to tag along on your outings with your friends, especially if you’re going out with a boy you’re trying to impress.

So I’m really glad the kids are taking well to each other.

Top 5 saccharine sweet sibling moments ever.

1. When Kirsten cries, Tru will drop his toys and go over to pat her on the head. It sometimes makes it worse but 100 points for effort.

2. Having them sit down and talk to each other. It’s like they’re having a real conversation.

3. The way baby girl gazes at Tru like he’s the coolest kid she’s ever seen. “That’s my big brother, y’all.”

4. The first thing Tru does when he wakes up is to look for Kirsten and give her a kiss.

5. On a good day, Tru will offer his precious blankie to her for 10 seconds before he grabs it back. I’m working on the duration, but sharing the blanket is a big deal because nobody touches the blanket. Nobody.

Ok, comic time!

Page 1Page 2