getting ready for baby, pregnancy, Product Reviews

The best pregnancy advice you’ll ever get

February 5, 2010 
Jules and Jim Maternity

I’m kind of an expert on pregnancy because I’ve done it twice and everyone knows that if you do something twice, you start to really kick ass at it. I hate to boast but I’m very good at being pregnant. I’m like a natural. In fact, I’m trying very hard to be less good at it. Some skills in life you don’t really need and this is probably one of them.

But that is exactly why I’m qualified to dish out pregnancy advice to people who aren’t so good at it. Unless you’ve already got 8 kids then I throw myself at your mercy, Grand Master (sextuplets only count as 1, so I’m totally on par with the Gosselins).

So here goes. Advice #1. Don’t buy pregnancy clothes.

Because most of them look like curtains. You know the kind I’m talking about, the shapeless dresses  in pastel colors with the large ribbon around the center. (We all get that your baby is a gift, there’s no need to be that painfully obvious). Also, having a huge ass is enough ammo for people to crack jokes at your expense and you really shouldn’t help them.

That’s unless of course you buy designer togs. Except that maternity couture is even more expensive than regular ones (you didn’t think that all that extra cloth was free, did you?) and you’d end up wearing the same $300 pants everyday without washing for 6 months. Which is kind of gross. And then people will still laugh at you.

I was prepared to wear oversized sweats everyday, until I found out about Maternity Exchange’s rental program. I was kind of iffy about the whole idea at first because one time I got a bag of hand-me-downs from my friend’s cousin’s somebody and it smelt like the underpants of that somebody with very bad body odor who died. Suffice to say, I did not wear it. So the first thing I did when I stepped into the shop was to take a big whiff of the clothes. But they all smelt pretty good.

I found the range to be decent and some of them could probably be cheaper but it’s not cool to haggle with couture.

Now, if you didn’t listen to my advice and went out to buy a truckload of maternity clothes and they’re now moth bait in the back of your drawers, it’s not too late. The guys at MX have launched a ‘Buy My Love’ program and while they may not actually be able to afford your love, they are willing to buy some of your maternity pieces for their collection. That’s almost half as cool as packing them up and sending it all over to some third world country where they’ll make some very pregnant girls very happy.

Speaking of which, I’m very happy to be announcing a new giveaway. There’s 2 (two) $50 Maternity Exchange vouchers up for grabs and you’ll be able to pick out some fancypants maternity wear.

To enter this giveaway, just answer the following question in the Comments section of this post: What’s your favorite maternity outfit? I’ll go first. Yoga pants and a singlet.

Winners will be chosen using a highly scientific (read: random) method and announced on 14 Feb.

And since we are all winners, you’ll all be getting a $10 MX voucher and all you need to do is head town to their flagship store at Marina Square and shout “I love Mother, INC”. I’m just kidding. About the shouting bit. You can whisper it if you want and they’ll still give you the voucher. Happy shopping.

UPDATED: Using my very scientific random generator…here are the winners!

Congratulations to Chrystal and Jen! You gals will be contacted via email for details.

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kids inc, literally a crappy post, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Hot water is surprisingly handy in sticky situations

February 3, 2010

One of the things I do best is improvisation. Problem solving, I like to call it. Now that I’m unemployed, it’s the only thing that makes me feel useful.

Like the other night our kitchen was invaded by a mutant lizard and the husband said it was too high to catch so I formulated a plan to terminate its miserable life. He loaded up a water pistol and armed himself with a glass of boiling water. The plan was to shoot it and when it falls off, douse it with the boiling water. Hasta la vista, baby.

Ok, so the hot water didn’t kill it like we planned and it escaped into the air con vent in the living room but it was pretty much fatally wounded so I have a feeling it crawled in there to die. Which counts for a win. I’ll improvise again when a foul smell starts coming out from my air con in a few weeks.

The only thing about improvising as opposed to advanced planning is that you end up winging it a lot. And your instincts take over so you end up doing stuff that seemed ingenious at that time but on retrospect seems like the sort of thing an airhead would do. You know the feeling you get at the precise moment where you do something and realize that it was massively moronic but it’s already done and you can’t undo it. Yeah, that feeling. I get that a lot.

See, I have 1 rule when the kids are sleeping. #1. Never wake a sleeping baby. Even if that means you have to hold in your pee and tiptoe around the house, you do it.

So when I was all out of wet wipes and Kirsten did the number 2, there was no way I was going to risk going into the room to get a new pack and wake Tru up. My other option was to wash her bottom at the basin direct without first scraping off the residual poop. On hindsight, I should have used normal tissue soaked in water but it was too much of a hassle.

Next thing I knew, there was a large piece of semi-soft poop lodged in the sink. That was when I grabbed a chopstick from the kitchen to try to poke it into the drain but it made it even more stuck and I was actually spreading the poop all around the sink drain. Flushing water down didn’t seem to work and it was too far in for me to pry it out with my hands.

It was a nice little pickle. I thought of leaving it there for the husband to discover when he got back but I’m responsible so I improvised some more. Hot water is my solution for most problems (like perverts and pests) so I spent 5 minutes pouring hot water into the sink while scraping off crap from the edges. Except that I didn’t anticipate the smell it would cause. Trust me when it say that it is FOUL. Seriously, the smell of boiled poop is exquisite beyond description.

I used to think that becoming a mother automatically makes you all grown up and smart and responsible. Guess not.

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how i pretend to be a cool mum, kids in motion

All in a day’s work – revised edition

February 2, 2010

Ever since Tru started school, my life has been so much easier. On the downside, I spend 3 hours apart from him every day, but that’s time I get to spend with Kirsten alone, which I’m really enjoying. It’s our special girly time.

i love having momma all to myself

Now that Tru has gotten past the initial separation anxiety, he’s gone on to charm the socks off his playgroup friends and teachers. A little bird tells me that he’s got two very cute 8-year-old girls fussing over him and it’s becoming apparent that the teachers absolutely adore him.

This new schedule is working out brilliantly for all of us. And by all of us I mean me. It’s a walk in the park compared to my life 5 months ago.

7.15 – Express milk and sip my morning coffee. The husband feeds and changes the kids and then gets himself ready for work.

8.15 – Drop the husband off at work, then drop Tru off to school.

9.00 – Have a leisurely breakfast at someplace nice and feed Kirsten baby food. Some days I even get to read the papers or fiddle with my iPhone for a while.

10.30 – Baby girl takes her nap as we take a walk at the beach/mall/library.

12.00 – Pick up Tru from school and head home for lunch. The madness begins when we get home and I scramble to cook, feed Tru, bathe both kids, feed Kirsten and get them ready for their nap.

2.00 – Both kids take a nap while I express milk and take a breather.

4.30 – Snack time (for Kirsten, it’s milk time), followed by play time. They’re starting to play with each other and it’s really fun watching them interact. Kirsten laughs at everything her brother does and he will do all sorts of crazy stuff to make her laugh. It’s too cute.

6.00 – Pick the husband up from work and head out for dinner.

8.00 – Kirsten takes her last feed and both kids go to bed.

Effectively, that’s when I get to kick back, take a nice shower and spend some time with the husband. I almost cannot remember how bad it was just a few months back. I think my mind has blocked it out completely. But it’s true that life gets better as the kids get bigger. I can’t wait till next year when baby girl goes to playgroup as well and I’ll have 3 hours all to myself. Oh, that will be so awesome.

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