love bites

With this ring, I gave them the permission to scream.

March 29, 2010

I haven’t done this in a long time. Blogging in my room. Or doing anything in my room that does not involve tiptoeing and breath-holding.

Since baby girl was born, I’ve been banished to the living room to do everything except sleep. And also making the sexytime in absolute silence. Which is like having melted ice-cream – no fun at all.

Kirsten just made the move to Tru’s room today and at this moment, they’re both sound asleep next to each other. There was a bit of adjustment at bedtime because Tru kept talking to her and trying to climb into her cot and all that commotion was a little too much to take so Kirsten started screaming, which led to Tru screaming at her to be quiet. You know the drill.

It took a while to settle them both down but it’s a small price for getting my room back. I can blast the air-conditioning until icicles start to form without worrying that baby girl will die of hypothermia. I can shower in my bathroom again and read a book in bed. It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy and reading in bed is one of them (which is why I’m practically blind but again, small price to pay). Days like these, it feels like we’re back to being newlyweds without the kids. Except that I miss them a lot and I keep sneaking into their room just to hear the faint rhythm of baby breathing.

Speaking of newlyweds, we just attended our first wedding at The Fullerton Hotel. Besides our wedding, that is, because it doesn’t count as attending if you’re the one getting married. Three years and two kids in, we were walking down the same steps to the ballroom where we had our wedding. Complete deja vu. I remember looking at Kelvin all dapper in his tux and thinking that life would finally be perfect. We’d have our perfect kids and perfect holidays and perfect jobs.

If I had known then that this was how my life would be three years down, I might have turned and ran for the hills. Or at least made him go for a vasectomy. Or performed it myself.

Going through that much in the last three years, it’s easy to forget the way you felt when you held hands and said your vows. It’s easy to lose the fuzzy feeling in your stomach when babies are screaming at you all the time. I have a theory that screaming makes you forget practically anything. It’s like repressed memory, except less scientific.

But it was nice to remember. And honestly, even on retrospect, I think I might have done it all over again. Ask me again in five years when I have another two kids.

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Father Inc, how i pretend to be a cool mum, the breast things in life are free

What’s better than bringing home the bacon? Being home with the bacon.

March 26, 2010

Daddy’s been home these two weeks, the longest break he’s had since he started work. I heart having daddy around at home, he does all the manly stuff like cleaning poop and yelling at the kids while I sleep in. In case you missed that, I actually said sleep in. That’s like the Holy Grail of motherhood. And you would think that it’s going to feel overrated after you have it but oh no, it. is. good.

I can really get used to this, not having to do everything on my own. A 2:2 (two-parent to two-kid) ratio is so much easier because we can divide and conquer. One to hold the fort while the other takes five.

I’ve also noticed that the kids are closer to Kel whenever he’s at home. Tru asks for daddy all the time and he shouts for “dad-dyyyyy” in that sweet baby voice, which is a relief because I can escape diaper changes but I’m also bummed about being displaced as his favorite person.

I know boys need a strong, masculine presence to give them security and all but I miss that special look he used to give me like I’m everything he needs. Now everything is morphing into something once in a while and soon it’ll be “mommmm, don’t kiss me in public anymore, it’s WEIRD and EMBARRASSING!”

I hate to break it to you, kid, but momma’s going to kiss you till you’re 65. Maybe not all over because that would be weird. But kiss you, I will.

We’re all going to be a little sad when daddy goes back to work next week. Tru’s going to throw a hissy fit when I have to tell him that “daddy’s at work, sweetheart”. Baby girl will look all forlorn again. Momma will cry a little and maybe dust under the sink for a place to hide.

But we’ve got three days left, right about the time where you start to feel the blues sinking in. The last few days of any holiday are always bittersweet because at the back of your mind, you’ll always be thinking about how it’s going to suck after. That’s why the last three days of our honeymoon was spent in Disneyland so we wouldn’t have time to sit around and mope.

Three more days and I’m going to par-ty like it’s 1999. We’ve got Kirsten’s baby dedication and a wedding coming up so it’s going to be fun. Hopefully we’ll have some good pics for you guys. Here’s one first, for the record.

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side effects of motherhood

You’ve got a friend in me

March 23, 2010

it's more fun with two

These days, I love watching the kids play together. Seems like it’s turning out to be a brilliant idea to have them so close together after all.

Make no mistake, it’s no fun being pregnant when your first kid is 4 months old. Towards the last trimester, there was an aura of foul smells hovering around Truett because one time I sat down to bathe him and I spent 15 minutes trying to get up. Unsuccessfully. That’s when I gave up on the bathing thing altogether and just waited until the husband got back.

After Kirsten was born, it was possibly even worse. I honestly don’t know how I survived the first 6 months with two screaming babies alone all day. Sometimes, just thinking about those days still makes me want to cry. Or scream. Probably both.

But I think I’ve paid my dues because now that baby girl is bigger, she’s become the perfect companion for Tru. She’s the yin to his yang. She forces him to share his stuff, calms him down when he’s in a frenzy and lets him perform all kinds of ridiculous experiments on her when he’s bored. In turn, he kisses her head and makes her smile.

When they’re a little bigger, he’ll spend all his time being up to no good and she’ll be like “Tru, we can’t put spiders in momma’s panties. They’re going to spin cobwebs and then we’ll all be in trouble.”

I can only hope that the she is able to resist the lure of the dark side. Be mindful of the force, my young padawan.

Right now though, it’s much easier for me. I can read to both kids at the same time. They drink milk and change their jammies and go to bed together. Instead of having to entertain two kids, I put them down and let them go crazy while I sip my coffee.

Granted, there’s plenty of conflict resolution to be done because half the time, they’re pulling out each other’s hair and screeching. Then I get to step in all adulty and yell at both of them just like my mom used to do. And if you think about it, in all likelihood I’d still be yelling if I just had one so I’m still rocking that whole economies of scale business.

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