picture perfect

How high can you go?

August 20, 2010

There’s a swing set just next to the void deck of my house, the old-fashioned sort with a wooden plank and metal chains. Tru has been walking past it for over a year without knowing what it was so he never bugged us to let him have a go at the swings. Then recently, he saw some kids having the time of their lives on the swing and he was like the guy who discovered fire while playing with some rocks in a total “OMG THAT’S WHAT IT’S FOR?!!” kind of way.

Understandably, we’ve been spending a bit of time there since.

The first time he tried, I could see his irrational-fear mechanism kicking in. He gripped the chains till his knuckles turned white and he was trying real hard not to chicken out like a little baby. He was all “Think of the other kids they had so much fun but I’m going to fall off and die alright, BREATHE just breathe and hold tight, I’m not going to be a baby I CAN DO THIS COME ON!!”

I was ready to carry him off and tell him it was ok, we could try it when he was a little older but he finally decided to man up and bite the bullet. So I watched on like a proud momma as he took his first ride on the swing.

Ok I’ll admit that I was actually more worried than he was because I once saw my friend fly off the swing as his hand slipped while trying to perform a stunt of the kids-don’t-try-this-at-home variety. He had a scab the size of Africa for a couple of weeks and I had to block out the image from my head for a lot longer than that. Granted, his little stunt did achieve legendary status on the playground back then but I’m pretty sure his mom wasn’t pleased about it at all.

We gave him a little push and off he went. A minute in, he stopped being afraid and started having fun. Which was right about the time he started giggling and yelling for us to push him harder so he could fly higher.

In between giggles and victory whoops, he looked at me like “look mom, I DID IT I’m a big boy now” and I cheered like he just won the Gold medal at the Youth Olympic Games. Every time I see him conquer a fear, I feel like he’s grown up a little bit more and I know I’m supposed to be happy for him and all but sometimes I feel like my baby is slipping away and I secretly wish he’ll stay my baby forever. Also, I’m just not prepared to have him come home with a large bruise and a broken arm after attempting a death-defying stunt at the playground.

by
i embarrass myself sometimes, Kidspeak, Truett goes to school, unqualified parenting tips

Yo Momma got street cred

August 18, 2010

Apparently, I’ve earned quite a rep with Tru’s teachers in school, as I just found out today. I like to think it ups my street cred, like how you’re supposed to become badass after spending a week in prison but I suspect they’re using me as a cautionary tale for other parents during some of their parent-teacher sessions.

Rain, rain go away

Tru was learning about the weather in school this week and today was all about rain.

Teacher: Kids, what do we do when it rains?

Kid 1: Take umbrella!

Teacher: Good. Anything else?

Kid 2: Raincoat!

Teacher: That’s right, we wear our raincoats.

Tru: RUNNNNN!!!

Teacher: Run?

Tru: Run so fast! Raining, mommy carry and run!

In my defense, that’s only my strategy when it’s drizzling. With one kid in each hand, I got nothing left to carry a brolly even if I wanted to, and besides, umbrellas are for sissies and 50-year-old ladies. I tried grabbing it with my teeth once and Kirsten almost lost an eye in the fallout. When it’s pouring, I make strangers ferry us with their umbrellas by playing the frazzled-mom-with-2-babies card. It works all the time. I would also like to point out that I have flip-flops with surprisingly good traction, which is the key to not falling and breaking open your skull. You’re welcome.

Breakfast of champions

A couple of weeks ago, it was breakfast week, or food week or healthy eating week and the kids were learning about healthy options for a balanced diet. Obviously, I have no concept of proper nutrition, seeing that I survived on instant noodles, burgers and fries for almost the entire first year of my university life.

Teacher: What do you eat for breakfast?

Other kids: Cereal, bread, noodles, milk, pancakes, waffles, apple, sausage…

Teacher: Excellent, children! Those are all very good breakfast options

Tru: Eat gummies. So many gummies (complete with hand gesture)

Teacher: *uncomfortable silence* Ok, we must always eat gummies in moderation, that means not too much at once.

Tru does have a normal breakfast, right after his morning vitamin gummy (which I chop up into tiny pieces so it seems like a lot) because it’s the first thing he starts to harass me for the moment the opens his eyes. And the chopping into tiny pieces works because I have 1 piece for every time he goes “gimme more gummies” and by the time I’m all out, he feels like he’s eaten loads of gummies.

Birds and the bees

Then there was clothes week, where the kids learn about the different types of clothes you wear for different occasions. They learnt about how you should wear a uniform to school and a pretty dress to a party.

Teacher: Children, what do you wear to sleep?

Kids (in unison): PYJAMAS!

Tru: Pa…pa…pagina!

Remember how I was teaching Tru the proper words for the different parts of the human anatomy? Penis, he pronounces very well. Vagina, not so much. He calls it pagina, which gets him confused with pyjamas. And this, total badass.

by
coolest kids ever

Hips don’t lie

August 16, 2010

We’ve been bringing the kids to the pool a lot recently, thanks in no small part to our resolution to get in some exercise over the weekends. Ok, so I might have spent most of that pool time floating around without actually moving any muscles, but I like to think that a combination of the sunlight and water is helping to evaporate some of my pregnancy fats.

This is where I’m supposed to astound you with a very scientific explanation for it which involves words like osmosis or something but then I got most of my scientific knowledge through osmosis since I was rarely awake during Science classes and ok fine, you got me, I have no idea what osmosis is. Bottom line, you probably don’t want to take my word for it.

In any case, the kids really love being in the water. Ever since my traumatic drowning scare a while back, I’ve gotten a lot smarter. I bought Tru a complete anti-drowning set, comprising a secret agent jet pack, a pair of very buoyant arm floats and a long-sleeved rash guard to prevent hypothermia.

I am aware of how ridiculous this get up looks but it’s the kind of thing that can pass off as cute at 2-years-old and at least it keeps him safe. He can swim unaided in the deep end of the pool with his elaborate flotation devices and I don’t have to worry that he’ll disappear into the water if I turn my back for 5 seconds.

Now that Kirsten is walking confidently on her own, we got her a girlier set of arm floats and let her splash around in the wading pool. She’s got a lot more natural protection from the cold so she doesn’t mind parading in her teeny weeny itsy bitsy pink polka dot bikini.

On another note, all these outdoorsy activities have messed up baby girl’s ethnicity somewhat. While Tru doesn’t seem to be affected by all that suntanning, Kirsten has turned several shades darker and can pass off as a very small and also a little pudgy version of Shakira (just imagine her with a lot less hair).

Now if I can just get her to lay off those fries and shake those hips a little more vigorously, she’ll be ready for her next world tour.

by