kids!

I’m a stay home mom and I happen to think that it’s the best gig ever.

Let me get this out of the way. Much as I’d like it to be so, being a stay home mom isn’t a job, it’s a privilege. Which is not to say that it’s easy because it’s not. Spending my day at home with 4 kids is disproportionately exhausting considering that they’re such tiny little humans.

Often, my days are filled with inane tasks that require very little expertise – picking up toys, singing silly songs, cleaning messes, making pretend (and sometimes real) sandwiches, wiping poop, that sort of thing. On good days, I try to step up my game and introduce elaborate craft ideas in the name of holistic education. Or I experiment with a new dish that’s supposed to turn my offspring into healthier, stronger, smarter versions of themselves. Inevitably, the art pieces turn out looking like they’re done by a bunch of 3-year-olds (including mine), and let’s just say that I won’t be winning any culinary awards anytime soon. Or ever.

The truth is that on this turf of stay home moms who create Pinterest-worthy baked goods and wholesome meals that include words like quinoa and hummus, I have very little real skills to speak of. In fact, if I ever had to hire a professional stay home mom for my kids, I would not be at the top of that list.

Which is why I sometimes wonder if maybe I should make more productive use of my time and like…get a proper 9-5 sort of job. Besides, it’d be nice to be recognised for my abilities and be paid in real money for a change.

When stay home moms talk about how crazy this *job* is, it’s not because the job is really that hard (although it can get pretty intense), but because we feel like we need to justify the sacrifices that are made in financial terms. We spend all this time at home doing mundane tasks and after a decade of being not much more than a mom, we don’t have anything quantifiable to show for it. Maybe my kids will grow up to change the world or maybe they won’t. And then what? Should I have outsourced the care of my kids to people who can do an equally decent job and spent my time properly building a career?

But after having done this for a while, I’m convinced that at least for me, this is the best gig I could possibly ask for. Sure there are trade offs, especially when I think about how much easier life could be with a second regular, stable income. It’s also way less glamorous than it seems (and it already doesn’t seem that glamorous to begin with), but every morning, I can’t help waking up feeling thankful that I get to do this.

I get to see this face all day, every day.

That means access to unlimited munches on juicy baby rolls, especially within the 15 minute window after this baby wakes up from a delicious nap. He’ll be in a dreamy mood and I’ll get to munch on all the baby rolls I want without any protest. Sometimes, he’ll even giggle like he’s enjoying it, until he wakes up fully and realises that he does not, in fact, enjoy this munching at all.

Is this fun for me? I’m not sure.

I get to have this baby fall asleep in my arms when he’s feeling ill or sad or just having a bad day, knowing that I’m here to help make him feel better.

I get to spend more time than I should making faces with these two.

Or these two.

I get to watch my babies having a moment of their own, discovering how special siblings really are.

I get to spend my day experiencing all the good and bad, happy and sad, funny and mad moments with four of my favourite people in the world.

If that’s not a privilege, I don’t know what is.

Since the kids were babies, we made a parenting decision to not babytalk them and now that they’re older, it seems to have really paid off. In execution terms, it means we don’t dumb down our language and we try to expose them to different words even though they may not fully understand what some of these words mean. While we’re at it, we also teach them some singlish, some cantonese, some hokkien and a few made up words (they know these to be talking words, not writing words, close enough).

That thing they say about kids’ brains being like sponges? It’s entirely true. They’re remarkably fast at picking up new words and I’m often surprised by their powers of inference. Sometimes we forget that we’ve ever used a word/phrase and it pops up from one of the kids (used to perfection) several weeks later and we’re like HOW IS IT THAT KNOW THIS? Kirsten’s favourite comeback to that question is “BECAUSE I HAVE A BRAIN!!”

Most importantly, it makes them great conversationalists, which is beneficial for me since I’m stuck talking to them all day.

Here’s a collection of fun stuff I heard from the kids lately.

***

Kirsten: Kor kor!! Did you draw this angry bird?

Truett: Ya.

Kirsten: SIAL LAH!!! Very nice, man.

***

Tru: *whispers* Psst, mom, look over there, it’s Santa Claus.

Me: What?? Where??? It’s January and this is the wet market.

Tru: There… the one with the long beard. That’s a super awesome beard, right? You need to take a photo and put on your facebook.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha nice one. But I can’t just anyhowly take photos of people, if he catches me, he might yell at me ok.

Tru: You just be all boh chup then when he’s not looking, you quickly take a photo. Just send it to daddy and say I met Santa Claus.

*Photo or it didn’t happen…so here you go.

***

Tru: This boy from my class was crying during recess today, I think he got separation anxiety.

Me: Oh no, did you try to cheer him up?

Tru: Ya. I asked him if he wanted my packet milo but he just kept crying so I walked away.

Me: You just left him there and walked away??

Tru: It was very awkward so I went to eat my chicken rice. If not, later I don’t have enough time to eat my food.

Me: Maybe you can buy your food and sit with him tomorrow. I think if you be his friend, he might stop crying.

Tru: Yeah, ok, let me think about it.

***

Me: Hey Finn, would you like to help momma make coffee?

Finn: WHAT? AGAIN, COFFEE??!!

Me: Fair enough, this is my third cup but you don’t have to sound so judgey. This one’s decaf.

Finn: Ohhh, decaf.

Me: Do you even know what that means?

Finn: Mmmmm…NOPE!

Me: Then you ohh for what?

Finn: What’s decaf, momma?

Me: Decaf means there’s very little caffeine, almost none. Mommy’s still breastfeeding so I can’t overdo the caffeine. It’s like a placebo.

Finn: SEEBOH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Me: How is that funn…ah nevermind, decaf means Finn can drink it.

Finn: *happy dance* YAY YAY YAYYY I CAN HAVE COFFEEEE!!!

PS. This is the only kid who enjoys drinking coffee. He’ll share a lotus cookie and a (decaf) latte with me in the afternoon and it’s turning out to my my new favourite time of the day.