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coolest kids ever

coolest kids ever

When I grow up, I’m going to be a race car driver

From time to time, I like to imagine the kids in different occupations. Occasionally, I take it a step further and dress them up for more realistic visualization. Most of them have flopped miserably and as a result have been struck off the list.

This one made it to the possible-but-potentially-problematic list, and only because baby girl totally rocks the race car driver look.

Truett got stuck with the job of the reluctant chauffeur coolie. He doesn’t rock that look so much; I’ll have to work on his list of approved occupations.

As a back up plan, we’re also adding playground safety officer to baby girl’s list. Not quite as prestigious as a race car driver but they always tell you to work on their strengths and she is really good at limbering up and making sure the playgrounds are safe for babies.

coolest kids ever

East – 1, West – 0

We planned our trip to KL for the second day of new year so that we could still make it for a day of visiting. It is the new year after all, one of the 3 occasions every year that the entire extended family gets to hang out (the other 2 being Christmas and my grandmother’s birthday).

So for the first day of the new year, we put on our festive best and visit we did.

The kids were doing an East meets West showdown, with Tru his usual dapper self and Kirsten going oriental.

The criteria for judging was as follows.

Number of pictures taken by relatives: 30%

Number of compliments they got about their outfit/cuteness level: 30%

Total amount in ang pows collected: 40%

The final score for the day: East – 1, West – 0. Next year, Tru is definitely going visiting in a Wong Fei Hong outfit, complete with pigtail and kungfu moves.

We also learnt that baby girl has incredible arm strength. All that food apparently goes straight to her biceps because she can hang on the monkey bars without support for a whole minute without flinching and she did it for at least 10 rounds. She was all “I want to hang very high”, undeterred by her cheongsam and dress shoes.

Well, I was never the sit still and look pretty kind of kid so I wasn’t really expecting my child to be one. I’m just thankful that she doesn’t mind dressing up like a girly girl; that’s already a huge accomplishment right there.

coolest kids ever

Sometimes this boy makes me swoon

As we were heading down to the playground yesterday, Tru dug out his guitar from the toy box and informed me that he was bringing it along. “I need to play the guitar,” he insisted. I was all “you’re going to do all your climbing stuff and I’ll end up lugging it around on top of chasing after the both of you.”

“Truett will hold” he said matter of factly, before dashing out of the door.

When we got there, he found himself a nice spot, sat down and started singing Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours. The guitar was off key but he strummed it like it was a Fender.

That right there made me swoon like a 14-year-old schoolgirl. As did the group of the 14-year-old schoolgirls sitting nearby.

Baby girl watched him like it was the most awesome performance of her life. That’s probably why Tru always says he wants another baby sister instead of a brother. Baby sisters are easy to impress, like “wow you’re so cool and amazing” but baby brothers are more “give me that, MY TURN!!”

He played for all of 5 minutes and true enough, he chucked it to me and said “mommy hold”, then ran off to climb stuff. Which of course Kirsten followed to a T. I’ve long since given up telling her to not climb because she’s too small, because it makes her want to do it even more.

So I let her and most of the time, I end up getting nagged at by other well-meaning parents who tell me I shouldn’t put her in such grave danger.

coolest kids ever

Is is just me or is 2-and-a-half too young to be this emo?

Being all emo and walking around with oversized headphones is a prerogative of angsty teenagers, I get that. I am mentally prepared to deal with that when the kids turn 13. But 2-and-a-half, that’s kind of a little early, innit?

Sullen emo expressions, check. Giant earphones, check. General air of disinterest, check. Poser earphone-grabbing actions, check.

I was going on and on about how he’s supposed to finish his lunch before he could go to the playground and he was staring at me blankly like “Are you talking to me momma? This is awesome I can’t hear a single word you’re saying.. *po-po-po-poker face*”

Just one question: Am I going to have to deal with this for the next 15 years or does this mean he will grow out of this by 6?

Please say it’s the latter.

coolest kids ever, stuff best described as not safe for parents, unqualified parenting tips

The 30 Day Shred, Kirsten style

I’m into day 10 of the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and it has already been the most exercise I’ve done in um, the last 10 years. I shall rave about the awesomeness that is what I think is the most badass workout video I have ever seen in another post, right after I show you my rock hard after-2-kids-abs.

For now, I bring to you a rip off of the 30 Day Shred, Kirsten style. You probably want to do this if you have no intention of losing any weight or getting in any real exercise. Otherwise, I recommend that you seek professional help (ie. Jillian herself).

Ladies, if you want to look exactly like this, just do what my baby girl does and you’ll get there in no time. Also, eat a lot of french fries.

If you’re ready, let’s begin. First, you want to put on some protective headgear so we keep those brain cells warm and safe.

Moving into side stretches. Make sure you get in a nice big stretch to open up your core. We don’t want any injuries here.

Alright, you need to really get into it. Work those muscles in, injuries are not allowed, people.

And going right into windmills. Keep your arms locked in a straight position and bring them around; you should start to feel that heart rate going. If you’re not sure how, just flail them around wildly, that always works.

Now for a serious strength move – squats. You need to feel those legs burnnn. Or if you’re tired, you can just chill out there for 5 minutes.

Finally, give those muscles a good flex. Come on, flex it like you mean it.

Congratulations, that brings us to the end of workout one. Keep this up and you’ll look exactly the same as you did before.

coolest kids ever, picture perfect

Just like Zoo TV, except more fun.

We’ve all recovered from that nasty bout of food poisoning, thanks for all the concern you guys! Kirsten basically slept for 20 hours on Friday and woke up on Saturday morning looking her spritely usual self, smiling and toddling around so we knew she was much better. So yesterday, we decided to bring the kids out for a bit of fun at the zoo. Again. Because who can resist a trip to the zoo?

I mean, wild animals + a huge water play area = great success.

During our last trip down, baby girl was still too young to appreciate the awesomeness that is the zoo but this time, she was loving every moment of it. Even the snakes and slimy lizards, which is more than I can say for myself (more on that later).

Oh, here’s a tip if you’re planning to bring your kids to the zoo: Rent the wagon. At $15, it’s a bit pricey but it’s worth every cent, especially if you’ve got 2 kids who are too young to walk long distances and too old to sit still on the pram. It’s easy to maneuver and we managed to get the kids to stay on the wagon for the entire time, which is very impressive considering how my kids seem to have ants in their pants all the time.

In fact, I’m so impressed I’m thinking of buying one so they can sit still during all our shopping trips and excursions. Anyone knows where I can get something like this?

Then when Tru gets bored sitting in the wagon, he can actually get out and pull his sister on the wagon while we stroll on beside him and shout words of encouragement.

There was a lot of peering at animals, pointing at animals, waving excitedly at animals while we pretended to know the difference between leopard and jaguar prints. I was all like, “look at the size of that rosette with spots in the middle – definitely a jaguar.” Then the husband was like “but look at the distinct shape of the skull and the jaw, it’s got to be a leopard. You know, the kind of thing we do to entertain ourselves when staring at cats get a little boring.

The white tigers were pretty awesome though. Kirsten was trying to speak to it in various pitches of roars and Tru wanted to go touch it but seeing how the last guy who tried that stunt got eaten, we weren’t entirely keen on the idea.

The other animals were pretty standard, like flamingos and elephants and scaly reptily lizards and the kids looked on as we took them on a real life National Geographic lesson. They got to learn stuff and we got to sound smart and important. Total win-win situation.

Speaking of lizards, we saw this vile creature displayed on the glass top in the reptile enclosure. So obviously, I stood some distance away and asked the zoo person if it was real or not because come on, it looks like it’s alive and very malevolent.

And the lady was all like “Oh, it’s 90% real because it’s stuffed. Would you like to touch it?” and she brought it closer to me. But then of course all I heard was “it’s real and it’s coming to eat you” and the only thing you do when someone offers you something that looks like that is this. You scream and run for your life and don’t look back. Which I did. At which point the husband fell on the floor shrieking with laughter and the other visitors in my immediate vicinity started smirking.

All I can say is if it was real, my strong survival instincts will make sure that I’m the last person standing while all you other brave souls get devoured by giant lizards. Just saying.

coolest kids ever, kids inc

Flowers and child labor syndicates.

We were just done with our usual weekend brunch at the airport when they saw this gazebo-like structure with lots of flowers and made the husband push them there in the luggage trolley. It’s this thing they do where they both sit on the ledge of the trolley with their legs dangling out and they shout orders to daddy to GO FASTER without getting caught by airport security.

I’m usually standing a distance away because those security guys walk around with large machine guns. I’m not about to mess with that. Also, a dude pushing 2 kids around can get away with being spontaneous and fun but a crazy chick running after them – kind of hard to explain.

Instinctively, he reaches out to pluck a flower for Kirsten. “For mei mei,” he says, gesturing impatiently like it’s something I should already know. Every time he sees bunches of wild flowers, he yanks out one and gives it to Kirsten or momma or grandma, looking all chivalrous.

But obviously these weren’t wild flowers and whoever planted them lovingly would frown upon having them murdered so I tried to explain that he wasn’t allowed to pluck these flowers. He nodded, turned to his sister, put his arm around her and I was expecting him to say something sweet like “it’s ok, Truett will get another flower for you next time” but instead he told her, “Truett cannot pluck the flower, mei mei go pluck for Truett.”

By the time I have 5 kids, I won’t be surprised if he has a whole child labor syndicate going on. This is how it all starts.