Hey, guess which little studmuffin decided to be a big boy and grow teeth?
Okay, one tooth. Not even a full tooth. It’s like one-tenth of a tooth, so tiny you can barely see it, but I know for certain that it’s there.
You know how I know?
This baby has grown decidedly impatient with his milk drinking these days. On an average day, it takes about 15 seconds for let down to happen, and 15 seconds is a long time for a hungry baby to be sucking without anything to show for it, so he’s taken to chomping down really hard and yanking to make the milk come out faster. 5 seconds in and no milk, he’ll bite down with his one little tooth and shake his head violently from side to side like a pitbull with a frisbee. I can see how this might possibly work on a bottle teat with no feelings, but on a human teat with many feelings, it is a very special kind of pain that I don’t recommend to anyone ever.
You know how when you were a kid and you had strange, irrational fears like your nipple is falling off? (no? that’s just me then.) Presently, this nipple-falling-out situation has become a very real and distinct possibility. Full circle, y’all.
Although I’m just glad he’s still latching on, so I’m going to power through this minor inconvenience and hope I come out of this with boobs all intact. When we were away for 3 weeks, he had to adjust to the bottle and he did such a good job adjusting that when I got back, he was all vomit faces and boob rejection (again!). I’m no stranger to boob rejection. In fact, you can say that I’m getting really good at having my adorable tiny humans not like my boobs. It’s ok, I don’t take it personally anymore. It took a few days of subtle persuasion – me casually offering my delicious milk like it’s no big deal while he stuck out his tongue and made rude faces.
Me: Want some milk? Momma’s got yummy milk for you. Just try a little?
Me: Is that maybe like a One Direction fangirl kind of scream? I’d totally be into that.
Theo: *scream + rude faces*
Me: Probably not.
Me: That’s ok, maybe later then.
We’re good now though, and we’ve got our mojo back (except for the tooth vs. boob showdown we’ve got going on). Yay to subtlety.
I guess I’m ok if he takes his time with the tooth growing developmental milestone. If it’s up to me, I’d be happy with a toothless one-year-old. One can never have too many gummy grins, is what I always say.