Browsing Tag

separation anxiety

milestones & musings

I’m a big boy now

It was a momentous weekend for my baby boy, who’s made the transition to becoming a big boy. I feel like one of those cheesy parents who make cliched comments like “Aw, my baby boy’s all grown up”. But cheesiness comes with the territory of parenthood because these cliches first start out as truisms until 2 billion parents start saying the same thing.

When you’re watching your kid everyday, it’s hard to notice that they’re getting bigger, taller and smarter. And bit by bit, they start learning to assert their own independence. But it happens so gradually that it takes moments where you look back and wonder how they managed to grow up so fast.

Tru is officially a big kid now. Over the weekend, we just got him a toddler car seat (the forward facing type instead of the infant ones) and shifted him to his new nursery so he’s all grown up and independent. The husband had to clean out the guest room and do it up all nice and cosy with colorful mats and a whole bunch of toys. I was prepared for some separation anxiety and resistance on his part, but he seems to be loving his new digs.

Mama, on the other hand is struggling to cope with the new sleeping arrangement, so much so that I’ve been sleeping with the baby monitor attached to my ear. I was really dreading the shift but it was a matter of time before we had to make way for for the new baby in July. We figured it would be too traumatic for him to have to cope with the shift and a new baby sister all at the same time, in case he felt like he was kicked out of the room.

But now that I’ve adjusted to having back our room (although it will be short-lived), it totally rocks.

1. No more bathing in the common toilet.

2. No more brushing my teeth in pitch darkness.

3. No more whispering in the bedroom.

4. No more tiptoeing around.

5. Bring back the sexytime!

i embarrass myself sometimes

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Before I gave birth, I used to laugh at parents who developed severe separation anxiety disorders. A friend of mine had originally booked a holiday without the kid, but then decided it was too painful to jet set off to see the world without her little precious for five days. She started bawling her eyes out at the airport, and came right back after spending a grand total of 24 hours in the Maldives.

Naturally, I had a ton of witticisms about that particular incident. In fact, my mom can attest to the fact that I declared I’d take a 3-week holiday to California without Tru within a year of his birth. Apparently, I said “I’m too cool to be that clingy and needy.” (it’s all a little fuzzy in my mind right now)

Obviously, I spoke too soon, and I’ve got a funny feeling I’d have to eat my words at some point.

So during my prolonged battle with the flu, my mom offered to watch Tru for 2 nights so I can take a break and get some rest. It seemed like a brilliant idea. My mind told me to shut up, thank my lucky stars and celebrate 48 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

But as soon as I stepped out of the house, I started experiencing a whole host of unexpected symptoms, including but not limited to nausea, breathlessness, headaches, dizzy spells, heart palpitations, profuse sweating and blurred vision. I also had this horrible, homesick, sinking feeling in my gut, reminiscent of the days when I was away at school camp without my mommy and my teddy.

I stood outside my mom’s house for several minutes, torn between sleep and my miracle drug. I couldn’t believe I was turning into one of those disgustingly needy mothers. I was hoping Tru would kick up a big fuss so I’d have an excuse to bring him home, but he seemed perfectly happy to spend the night at Grandma’s.

Well, it was way too embarrassing to turn back so all I could do was suck it up, wipe the snot from my nose and stop being a wuss. But I have to admit, I was bawling all the way back home.

Laugh all you want, but there’s no way I’m going for a holiday without the kids.