Browsing Tag


kids inc, pregnancy

I think my mommy swallowed a whale

Pregnant or fat

I think my son is struggling with the concept of my second pregnancy. For a 12-month-old, he’s already way ahead of the pack in terms of intelligence, but this is something he’s still trying to wrap his head around. Ever since I found out that Kirsten was on the way, I’ve been indoctrinating him in hope that he’ll be prepared for her arrival.

The first few months, I’d point to my belly and tell him that baby Kirsten was inside, and he would giggle and beat my belly like a drum as if it was some sort of game. I think it was because I looked pretty much the same, so he was blissfully unaware that in a couple of months, he’ll have to share his mommy with another sibling. Or perhaps he was really smart and the violence was premeditated.

But recently, with my stomach growing to the size of Texas, he’s starting to understand that there’s something fishy going on in there. These days, I’d ask him “Where’s baby Kirsten?” and he would nestle his head on my belly, which is the sweetest, most heartwarming thing in the world.

The first time he did it, I almost started bawling at how incredibly picture perfect it was. That definitely made it to the list of “Most Awesome Mommy Moments Ever”.

I’m hoping that he actually knows that there’s a baby inside. Then again, he could be thinking that there are a million chocolate chip cookies inside, which could also explain why he’s hugging my belly so lovingly.

I wouldn’t be surprised either way.

Funny or So I think, lists you should paste on your fridge, pregnancy, sexytime, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Birth induction methods you may (not) want to try


a glass of wine may help

It was exactly this time during my first pregnancy that I gave birth to Tru. 38 weeks on the dot. But that was a c-section so I could pick an auspicious date to give birth. Waiting for the contractions to kick in is totally different. I feel so powerless. I’ve got my baby bag and all the baby stuff all ready and packed and it’s like waiting for Santa Claus to appear on Christmas eve. The anticipation is killing me. It’s my control-freak nature kicking in and I  just need to know exactly when it’s gonna happen.

Apparently for VBAC, a medical induction of labor increases the chance of womb rupture so it’s off limits. But I hear there are a few ways to induce birth and give the baby a little push as it were. It’s called ripening the cervix (it’s true!)

1. Acupuncture

It’s a tried and tested method by the Chinese and it’s supposed to be highly effective. Back when women used to bind their feet and slice off their pinkies, they realized that somehow jabbing a bunch of needles into various parts of the body triggers the contractions. It’s ingenious, don’t you think?

But seeing that pain avoidance is one of my life’s goals, acupuncture is in my list of Top 10 things NOT to do before I die (along with bungee jumping and eating fire).

2. Castor Oil

It’s a quick and painless method. Just take a few spoonfuls of it neat and wait a few minutes for it to take effect. It’s primarily a laxative, so there’s that nasty side effect where you lose all control of your bowels and start crapping involuntarily. It’s probably good if you hate the gynae/nurse and want to use it as a way to give them nightmares for days.

There’s no guarantee that it will work though, so you may just end up with a severe case of diarrhea.

3. Walking

This sounds pretty harmless. How it works is that it puts pressure on the cervix, causing it to dilate. Anyway it’s the kind of thing you can try without worrying about nasty side effects.

4. Nipple Stimulation

Touted as one of the most effective methods of natural induction, it’s definitely one of the most wildly popular. Mostly because no dude will turn down an invitation to engage in some nipple stimulation – “Boom-chica-wow-wow”.

But seriously, this causes a release of oxytocin, which causes contractions and lead to labor. (See, I’m not a total airhead, I actually know words like oxytocin)

5. Sexytime

As they say, what gets it in also gets it out. (who says that kind of thing anyway?) This is the next most popular method of birth induction, following closely behind the nipple stimulation.

The difference is, while most women are willing to tolerate some mild discomfort to the boobs, certain invasive methods at 38 weeks of pregnancy are too much of a hassle. There’s also the whole foreplay thing to contend with, and by the time there’s any action, you’re way too exhausted for the time to be the least bit sexy. And the focus is to get something out of there, not put something in, if you get what I mean.

I suppose the best thing to do is to sit around and wait till the baby is good and ready to come out. There’s a Chinese saying that goes something like “When the fruit is ready, it will fall off the vine”. Meaning that there’s no point rushing nature, cos all you’re going to end up with is an unripe fruit. Don’t ask me what that means. It’s too deep for my 38-week-pregnant brain.

If it’s up to me, Kirsten will be born on the 4th of July. So who knows, there might be some serious action on the 3rd. Woohoo!

pregnancy, sexytime

Two is enough…for now.


Jon and Kate plus 8. I'll get there, someday..

With 2 pregnancies back to back, I’ve been pregnant for so long I can’t remember what it feels like not to be pregnant. To wear regular clothes and dye my hair and bend over to cut my toenails without passing out. And I’ve been telling everyone who will listen that I NEED A BREAK. My body is screaming out for some respite and I have this nagging suspicion that it will go on strike if I have a third kid. Like completely break down and refuse to work.

Just the other day my mom (who adores kids) told me flat out that if I had another kid, Grandma won’t be coming to the rescue. There’s no way she’s watching 3 kids while I head out for my weekly movie breaks.

And I ended up having this totally weirdish conversation with her in the kitchen. Cos it’s always awkward talking to your mom about the details of your very active sex life.

Mom: You should consider some contraceptive methods after you give birth.

Me: *mumbles* Yeah, we’ll look into it.

Mom: It’s important to do some family planning, like see what options are available.

Me: *mumbles some more* Uh, yeah, I know.

She probably had a lot more to say, but I had to make a hasty getaway before the conversation ended up something like “Mommy’s favorite contraceptive was…” Ok, TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION.

That being said, I am definitely going to have some serious contraceptive plan after I pop (which will be reserved for another post) because I cannot handle having a third kid, at least not in the next 3 years. I need my life back. But the totally freaky thing is that I’ve been having this recurrent dream that almost immediately after Kirsten in born, I’m preggers again.

So in my dream I’m holding the pregnancy test strip and there’s that plus sign which means positive and I’m freaking out at the husband (it will be all his fault if it happens) and screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at the top of my lungs.

And you’d think the dream ends there, but then it continues and suffice to say, at the end of the dream, I look like a cross between a hobo and Helena Bonham Carter, except with crazier hair and bloodshot eyes.

Repeat after me. Not going to happen.