Browsing Tag



I do not have small boobs

Yesterday was not a good day for my self-esteem. Now that I’m pushing 36 weeks and weigh about the same as a baby elephant, I’m feeling a tad touchy about my weight, if you know what I mean. Call me oversensitive, but when I get sucker-punched with a 3-hit combo all in a day, I start to get a little depressed.

So in the afternoon the husband had offered to go buy lunch back and since all I had for breakfast was a measly slice of peanut butter sandwich, I was feeling quite ravenously hungry (which does not happen all the time). And the cravings were kicking in.

Husband: Orders please.

Me: Can I have 1 packet of chicken rice with extra roasted pork and egg, 1 packet of rojak (it’s this mish-mash of fried doughsticks and pineapple layered with a thick, tangy sweet sauce that’s totally sinful) and an iced milk tea.

Husband: Wow, you sure you can eat all that?

Me: Are you calling me FAT? All I had all day was a tiny sandwich! FINE I’LL STARVE TO DEATH IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT!


Later that evening, we were heading out to a barbeque with a couple of friends. So this lady (whom I suspect has got a mild case of Tourette syndrome) came into the lift and as usual, my boy was doing his socializing thing, which led to the following conversation.

Lady: You’re so cute! Very chubby too. *Turns to look at me* Just like mommy…

Methinks: You did not just call me chubby, lady. It’s a child I’m carrying, not fats alright. And it’s not like you’re that thin yourself.


Finally, at the barbeque, I offered to bring my friend’s 3-year-old kid to the toilet since I needed to pee as well. And as I found out, kids say the darnest things.

Kid: Your stomach is so big.

Me: Yeah, there’s a baby inside. You wanna play with baby?

Kid: *glances at my boobs* But your ‘that one’ is not big.

Me: Which one?

Kid: *points to my boobs* That one.

Methinks: Right… Maybe your view is obscured by the giant stomach, but I can assure you, they are of a very decent size.


In the span of 10 hours, I had 3 people call me fat/big/chubby (all the same thing as far as I’m concerned). And also, I’ve got small boobs.


14 weeks and counting

I’m well into the third trimester of my pregnancy, and this is where the fun really begins. The first two trimesters are easy-peasy. You hardly even notice that you’re pregnant and you’re still able to resume around 95% of your normal activities (cravings notwithstanding). But now, all the pregnancy symptoms are in full swing and ALL I WANT TO DO IS GIVE BIRTH.

I don’t walk anymore. I have to get around by waddling, which makes me look like a fat duck. The stomach is getting heavier by the day, my back is breaking, my legs are cramping up, I’m retaining water (and fats) like a reservoir, my formerly-tight ass is ballooning out of proportion and worst of all, I am losing my ability to sleep. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s also incontinence, carpal tunnel syndrome, cellulite and stretch marks to deal with postpartum.

If you think about it, insomnia is one of the biggest ironies of pregnancy. I mean, there will be no more sleeping after the baby is born, so there should be some mechanism to allow the body to hibernate and store up on sleep just before the delivery. In fact, I should be retiring into a cave for the next 3 months and sleeping the winter away.

Last night was like the turning point. I was up at 2.30 in the morning developing ulcers watching Manchester United struggle at home against Porto. (GAH!) After which, I lay in bed tossing and turning till 6.45 waiting for Tru to wake up. I hate insomnia. The harder I try to fall asleep, the more awake I feel, and it’s so insanely frustrating. Besides, the whole counting sheep thing is rubbish. I reached up to 6,245,953 sheep before I decided that it was futile.

I’ve still got 14 weeks to go, and now that I think about it, it’s a really long time. Although, I suppose it would make it easier if I could just lie in bed all day with servants feeding me grapes and massaging my toes while I catch up on Grey’s Anatomy. (hint, hint)