To my princess,
A month ago, I was screaming my head off in the delivery ward being all unglamorous and trying to push an entire human being out of my body. In the moments of respite between contractions, I would close my eyes and imagine how life would be like with you in my arms, to hold you and smell you and get to know you. Right now, those moments seem like a lifetime ago and I can’t imagine life without you in the picture.
It’s been an entire month of unspeakable insanity but in the midst of the sleep deprivation, postpartum depression and accursed hormone fluctuations, I’ve had the most wonderful time just looking at you and loving you.
On this first month milestone, here’s Mommy’s list of the top 10 things I absolutely LOVE about you.
1. The way your tiny little mouth breaks into a giant smile after you finish your milk. I had no idea your mouth was capable of opening that wide to accommodate that grin. And who cares if it’s gas, it’s nice to be smiled at anyway.
2. Your lovely baby smell right after a shower (even though it doesn’t last long – but that’s fine, I dont take that well to heat myself).
3. For not blinding and killing me with your poop. Have I said that I was eternally grateful? Yes, I am.
4. How you let me hold you for as long as I want without squirming or trying to break free. I’ve never had that with your brother.
5. The way you settle so comfortably on my chest. It’s the only way to calm you down on those particularly fussy nights.
6. Your chubby cheeks that’s always threatening to eat up your entire face. Also, sorry I bit your cheeks so many times. I can’t help it. I’m taking medication for that.
7. The way your itsy bitsy fingers grab on to my shirt/bra/hair/skin so tightly just as I’m attempting to put you in your cot. “No, mommy, nooooooo”
8. How you pout your quivering lips right before you break into the scream of your life like a prelude of what’s to come. That totally cracks me up.
9. Your ability to sit in the baby chair for extended stretches without fussing while your brother takes his turn at tormenting me.
10. The look of adoration you reserve for your daddy and me. That, to me, is worth all the madness in the world.
You, baby girl, are the beating of my heart.
With all the love in the world,