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clean up

pregnancy

Gynaes – Male or Female?

clooney ER

the doctor will see you now

I never quite put much thought into the whole male/female gynae issue. Maybe because female gynaes are severely outnumbered, I just decided to go with a male one (who’s pushing 70 I think). At first, I was definitely uncomfortable with the idea that some random dude would be well-acquainted with certain body parts, but then again, having some random chick do it is just as bad.

I have friends whose husbands will not let them go to a male gynae. As if he’s going to pull a fast one and try some monkey business. Ok, seriously, it’s not a pretty sight, and these gynaes are looking at body parts all day. I doubt they are going to pay much attention unless you happen to have some unusually large growth attached to your ass.

Even then, that’s not hot.

Good thing the husband was around for all the gynae visits, so it mostly felt like I was some specimen on display. There would be the gynae, the husband and 2 nurses standing around while I was being poked and prodded.

And of course the delivery was the absolute worst. I swear I have no sense of modesty left. In total, there were at least 10 people bustling around in the operating theater while I was sliced open like a piece of meat. I was too stoned from the epidural to care, but on retrospect, it does put everything into perspective. All I cared about was getting the baby out and then getting all sewn up nicely.

That was just the c-section experience. I hear that during vaginal delivery, all that pushing makes u defecate all over the delivery bed in front of a whole bunch of strangers. The thought of it alone is too embarrassing for words, which is why I’m going to stop eating 2 days before my EDD. I don’t mind the slicing, but I draw the line at crapping my guts out on the table. I mean, just think about the smell.

But that’s the thing. For those guys, it’s just their job. Some folks work with computers and some work with vaginas. At the end of the day, it’s all the same. Except more gross, I guess. I really feel sorry for the nurses that have to clean up after the whole debacle is over. Till this day, just cleaning my son’s ass is enough to make me regurgitate (I totally can’t keep a straight face).

Anyhow, I don’t know if there’s a difference between male and female gynaes cos all the ones I’ve tried so far are guys who are so old I’m surprised they can hold a scalpel with steady hands. Do the poll below -in favor of  dudes/chicks checking out your itsy bits? and I’d love to hear if you’ve got a weird experience with either.

 [poll id=4]