stuff best described as not safe for parents

To hover or not to hover

I recently had a conversation with the husband about the hover hand phenomenon. If you haven’t heard about it before, go read about it here. Go on, I’ll wait.

So the big question is of course, is it more appropriate to hover or not to hover? Do you want to run the risk of being caught in a suggestive photograph by not hovering or try to absolve yourself from all responsibility but look like an idiot by pulling a hover hand move?

Ok, first of all, WRONG QUESTION.

Now, I consider myself a fairly progressive specimen of the female species and I don’t really have a problem seeing the husband in a photo with his hands on the shoulder of another girl. Oh wait, while we’re here, I should probably make it clear that the safe zone to be touching a woman who is not your wife is limited to the shoulder. Everything else below the shoulders and you’re in very dangerous territory.

So if hovering (or non-hovering) is not really the problem, what is?

1. Hotness. 

If you refer to the above chart, you’ll realize that the hotness scale works like an exponential curve. Feel free to rest your arm on any woman who looks like Tilda Swinton, or better yet, Margaret Thatcher. But if you so much as lay a pinkie on a Megan Fox equivalent, I’d recommend that you start digging your own grave on the way home.

2. Interest. 

The interest scale is a lot more straightforward. The level of interest you display is directly proportionate to how likely you are to be stabbed. Basically, more interest = more stabbing.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you absolutely have to take a photo with a hot girl, at least try not to look like you’re enjoying it so much. We can smell your fear. I know it’s tough to look nonchalant when you’re in the vicinity of hotness, so if it helps, pretend like you’re casually standing next to a lamp post. Play it cool and then buy a tub of ice-cream and some flowers on your way home just in case.

What do you say, ladies? Would you want your guy to hover or not hover?

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  • Reply Elaine April 12, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    How about not even putting your arm over to the other side. Solves the problem doesn’t it?
    Elaine´s last post ..Izzybella’s birthday

    • Reply Daphne April 12, 2012 at 8:25 pm

      Could work but if the girl’s arm is on you, it looks totally weird to have your own arms by your side. Unless you’re holding food or something..

  • Reply Momo Chan April 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    I did ask this question to Shane before. He told me the trick to it is to always to lean in, give 2 thumbs up and give the widest smile whenever asked to pose with ladies. It’s the safest. Hahaha I agree.

    • Reply Daphne April 12, 2012 at 8:24 pm

      Hahahahaha I seriously laughed out loud at this. It’s brilliant! I’ll make the husband learn the move.

    • Reply Kelvin April 12, 2012 at 10:20 pm

      Hahahah! Brilliant idea – Still a little geeky but at least not that awkward. LOL

      • Reply Momo April 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

        But he also did mention that if it’s Megan Fox, the hovercraft will definitely land.

        • Reply Daphne April 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

          LOL fair enough.. if he does get to score a photo with Megan Fox, can give chance la.

  • Reply SengkangBabies April 12, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    My wife would not mind if I place my hand over a lady friend’s shoulder, but I feel very awkward about placing my hand on someone else. You can call me conservative or shy.

    On the other hand, I am happy for her if she hugs Andy Lau.
    SengkangBabies´s last post ..Penang Day 3 am – Butterfly Farm

    • Reply Daphne April 13, 2012 at 11:36 am

      I like your style!!

  • Reply Susan April 13, 2012 at 12:23 am

    I’m okay if it’s hands on shoulders too. But of course, it does depend on who the lady is… if it’s Megan Fox, then *deep breathe* be prepared!
    Susan´s last post ..Can Singaporeans survive without their maids?

    • Reply Daphne April 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

      hi-5 on that!

  • Reply Andrea April 13, 2012 at 1:38 am

    I say don’t hover, it screams Leonard Hofstadter!!!!!!!!

    • Reply Daphne April 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

      Hahahah I didn’t know u watched big bang theory too.. he’s very geeky but kinda grows on you

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