Comments on: How to take care of two kids alone

By: Jennifer P.

Jennifer P. — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:53:47 +0000

I enjoyed reading the original blog… it was funny and it made me wish I had more help. I do have an amazing husband, but due to finances, we both work. I am a teacher (which, yes, means I have summers off, and days throughout the year where I am home– but also means, I put in a lot of EXTRA hours and worry for my 30+ students even when I am off, because unfortunately, those little ones are always on my mind too!). My husband commutes to work 2 hours ONE way. So he leaves at 6 a.m. and comes home at 7 p.m. When the school year is in session, I wake up, get myself dressed while taking care of my 2 year old, feed him, and drive him to daycare. I work until 5, pick him up, come home, and have mommy-time with him, cook dinner, bathe him, and then have dinner with my husband. My husband does daddy-time with him, and then we both take turns putting him to bed. Once he is asleep, my husband and I do household chores (dishes, clean the cat box, vacuum, laundry, etc.) or we both “work” on things for work. I sometimes have to use my evenings to do lesson plans, e-mail parents, grade papers, or do research. Sometimes, my husband is even “on-call”. We both feel that we are just getting by. We spend our weekends with our son completely. He gets our attention amidst getting chores done, groceries, etc. We wanted him, and we want more! In fact, baby number 2 is due next month. I will likely work part time because I don’t want to have kids and have to keep them in daycare everyday! I want to raise them! :) I feel we have been blessed with such a good child. He is so happy, fun, and eager to learn. He likes to help, and he has always stuck to his schedule and routines. He will be a great big brother. My main concern is, it’s tough with one, how do you do it with two. I already fear the guilt of not being able to do as much for my first child, my husband, or our house. I fear that baby 2 will get less attention because there is always so much going on. My family is far. The only “sitters” we have is daycare, of which we ONLY use when we work (i.e. when we HAVE TO). It’s not even that I don’t trust someone to watch our son, it’s that we don’t have anyone available and willing to come help. I am hoping that I can maintain my energy levels with two, let some household things slide, and continue to count on my husband for as much help as before. I don’t know what else I can do. That’s why I have been researching online, to see how others have multiple children and get by. I am even worried about having to recover from my c-section with my first son still needing me. Thoughts cross my mind about things like, picking him up to get him into the car. I know I’m not supposed to lift… so do you just do it anyways? Beats me. I could come up with a million little concerns, and my answers seem to come back to “when it happens, you’ll find a way and be okay!” Unless anyone can offer me some other advice for raising two or more… :) Thanks.

By: jackie

jackie — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 12:16:20 +0000

jennifer,
I am also a single mother of three, not because I am alone, but he doesn’t want to help (if i understood correctly). I have a six year old, 1 1/2 year old and three month old. I can only recommend taking it a day at time and, creating a schedule. I have benifited a lot from a nap schedule because I am a full time student online, and that requires a lot of reading. Also for my oldest since it is summer i bought her activity books and my son has blocks that he can focus on for awhile while i take time for myself (with them under supervision). it takes work but be strong, nobody knows but you what works, so play with it.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 23:00:58 +0000

jennifer, I can understand what u r going through. We are on the same boat

By: jennifer

jennifer — Tue, 31 May 2011 05:34:56 +0000

Don’t mean to be rude, but alone you absolutely are not. I’m trying to find information on caring for a newborn and toddler by myself. Not simply daytime care. You also have help on the weekends!! I hope your hose is more than relatively clean. If your amazing then I can’t even think of a word to describe myself. I’ve never had a night without my child who is turning two next month. The first time will probably be when i’m in labor end of august. Even then i’m planning on coming home asap to care for her. I am the definition of “alone”. Dad doesn’t spend much time with her and even when he does never takess her by herself. On top of that all my family is across the country. So pardon me if I get a little upset when people comment to you “I don’t know how you do it”. Come on!! I never make comments but probably would have a difficult time sleeping if I hadn’t. I simply am in need of real tips on caring for two children. And the tip should not be to take help whenever I can because I have none.

By: Jordie

Jordie — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 09:14:05 +0000

You are amazing and i absolutely admire your tenacity and good humor in the face of what can be a draining and mundane task of being a stay-at-home mother. And you put it into prose perfectly – you must have had a career in writing or journalism?