Dealing with bullies – the kids edition

Tru came back from school yesterday looking a little troubled. After some probing, he said that his *friend* called him stupid and pushed him.

Before I rained curses on the offending child, I tried asking Tru the context of the incident, like if he was the one who pushed the kid first or snatched his toy but he wouldn’t say.

So far, we haven’t really had to deal with the issue of bullying or dealing with mean kids. Apart from one or two incidents at the playground under my watchful eye, they’ve never had to deal with bullies on their own. I’m also well aware of the fact that kids will be kids and they do all kinds of batshitcrazy stuff all the time, even mine. Much as I teach the kids not to hit or bite or shove, they still do it to each other so I have no illusions that they’re perfect.

However, hearing that my kid got bullied in school and seeing him so troubled got me a little miffed.

Obviously, it was time for the bullying talk. The husband did a piece a while ago on how to deal with bullies but those things could only be done by an adult so now I’m coming up with a kids edition.

1. Tell the teacher. 

But we all know how this usually turns out. Without witnessing the actual incident, the teacher can only issue a lame command for the bully to stop. And he will pretend to stop – for five minutes – before resuming his bullying ways.

2. Ignore the kid.

It’s true that these kids thrive on attention so when they see that they’re not getting a response, they generally get bored and stop. However, this only applies to when you’re dealing with verbal abuse because it’s hard to ignore a fist to your lower jaw for extended periods.

3. Run away. 

There’s no shame in running away, like when you’re faced with a flesh-eating zombie or a hungry T-rex or a Dudley-sized bully. Except that in a confined space like a school, there’s only so far you can go before the bully catches up and whips your ass till you cry uncle.

4. Tell the kid to stop it. 

This is a long shot but one that must be attempted nonetheless. But really, if  the bully was someone that listened to reason, he probably wouldn’t be throwing his weight around and shoving kids randomly in the first place.

5. Stand up to the bully.

Well, this depends on how big the bully is. Let’s face it, my child is not Bruce Lee and he does not possess the necessary skills to beat a monster of a child to a pulp.

No, dealing with bullies requires more drastic action.

6. Direct bully to mommy.

When all else fails, there’s always the super secret back up plan, which is to point out the bully to mommy, who will taser him when no one is looking.

You’d think I’m kidding but I’m already shopping for tasers on ebay.