stuff best described as not safe for parents

A new level of crazy


“Momma, wake up…”

I sat up with a start, not sure if I was still dreaming. My room door was ajar and I could tell that all the lights in the living room were turned on. As my eyes struggled to adjust to the light, I noticed that Kirsten was standing at the door, butt-naked and completely soaked from head to toe.

“Are you ok, princess? Are you hurt?” I jumped out of bed, my brain still trying to make sense of what was happening.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped her up nice and snug, then peered at the clock. 5.45am. FML.

Every single light in the living room and kitchen was turned on, including the table lamps. She had meticulously grabbed a chair to access all the light switches. In the kitchen, an entire bottle of detergent had been emptied and the water was left running at the sink. I glanced down and a foamy puddle had already formed on the floor next to her wet jammies. This must have been going on for a while. The bathroom floor was all wet, evidence that someone had just taken a shower.

“Tell momma what happened, baby,” I asked her, still holding her close to warm her up.

“I cannot find kor kor. It’s very dark so I turned on all the lights.”

“And why are you all wet?”

“I played with the water so my clothes are all wet then I take them off. I bathed myself because I’m a big girl now.”

“I won’t even ask why, but did you need to do it at 5 in the morning?”

“You change for me now, I’m tired. I want to go sleep,” she instructed with an air of finality.

I wasn’t quite sure how to handle a situation like this, so I did as she asked. I changed her into fresh PJs, cleaned up the kitchen, made her some milk and brought her back to bed.

The next morning, she acted like nothing had happened and when I brought it up, she just looked at me blankly like I made up the whole thing.

I actually wish it was a dream because I’m pretty sure normal 3-year-olds don’t do this level of crazy. But then I actually have the soaked jammies to prove otherwise.

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  • Reply Winston Tay June 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Sounds like sleepwalking. Did Kirsten engage in any activities the day before that were more exciting or stressful than usual?

    My niece did that before, as well as my son (more than a few times, but mostly night terrors, except for one particularly weird night).

    • Reply Daphne June 8, 2012 at 6:02 pm

      I thought she was sleepwalking too but she was totally awake and strangely alert for 5 in the morning.

      • Reply Winston Tay June 8, 2012 at 6:08 pm

        Well, the eyes might be wide open, but the brain is still in sleep mode. It’s happened before with my own dad; he seemed completely conscious of his surroundings though a bit wobbly, but his eyes were open. And he was asking me some very daft questions before he trotted back into bed.

        Oh dear, now I’m thinking it runs in the family.

  • Reply Shiqin June 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    What?! She’s not even three yet, right? Totally a whole new level of crazy. Haha!
    Oh and where was Truett?

    • Reply Daphne June 8, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      Yah! She’s turning 3 next month so technically still 2. Tru has never done anything remotely close to this so it’s all a bit new to us

  • Reply June June 7, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Hi Daphne,

    thank you for this post. Liam has been driving me to the edge for the past one month. I guessed ever mother has its funny stories to tell.

    Really enjoy your blog!


    • Reply Daphne June 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

      Thanks babe!! Hang in there, the kids only got more manageable after 12 months, and even then there were a lot of meltdowns till like age 3.

  • Reply Elizabeth June 7, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    Haha! It’s kinda cute that she tried to take a bath! My two-year-old has a witching hour every night and she’ll wake up and yell and scream the house down, and when I tell her about it in the morning, she gives me the what-are-you-talking-about face. I’d rather she try to take a bath anytime!

    • Reply Daphne June 8, 2012 at 6:11 pm

      LOL Kirsten used to do the midnight screaming too. I’d much prefer if they just stayed in bed quietly till the morning though…

  • Reply Eileen June 8, 2012 at 11:17 am

    Breath in, breath out… it will blow my head off if my 3yo do this to me… gosh..

    • Reply Daphne June 8, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      Hopefully not! Tru has never done anything like it and I don’t think he will. He’s a lot less crazy that way.

  • Reply Elaine June 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    Oh my gosh, this was hilarious until I thought more about it and then it seemed potentially rather scary too. Hope this won’t be a recurring thing!
    Elaine´s last post ..TOMOdachi and baby toys

    • Reply Daphne June 8, 2012 at 6:14 pm

      Thankfully it hasn’t happened since!

  • Reply gretzelle June 8, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    whoa! not trying to scare you but you might wanna double lock your main door or something. it happened to me when i was around 4 or 5. i nearly walked out of my house to the corridor in the middle of the night… the good thing was i was waken up in the middle of sleepwalking by my grandma… it’s quite scary D:

  • Reply Katriina June 9, 2012 at 1:38 am

    I love how calmly she explained the whole situation. Makes perfect sense, really, except for the fact that it was the middle of the night! Actually, even that makes perfect sense. She chose the perfect time to empty an entire bottle of dishwashing liquid and get water everywhere – at that hour, any parent would have been way too sleepy and hopelessly confused to even think about being mad at her! The kid is a genius!:D or maybe she’s just a sleepwalker, but personally I’d go for the genius theory!

  • Reply Elisa June 18, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    amazing story, can i re tell it? did you ask her whether she remembered it? a friend told me she once woke up and played with her cooking set, and packed it all back, before going back to bed. she didn’t remember doing it. i am glad that kirsten didn’t get injured.
    Elisa´s last post ..Laugh and cry

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