You’ve probably done 257 of these quizzes by now, hoping that the answer every single time is YES. Even parents who say they don’t care do these quizzes *for fun*, secretly hoping that the answer is that their little precious is smarter than Einstein and Megamind rolled into one.
I once did a quiz that said my child is above average and I was infuriated. ABOVE AVERAGE??!! What do you mean above average? What kind of a quack quiz is this? My kids falls into 1 of 2 categories: Super Smart Genius Prodigy or So Brilliant It Will Make Your Brain Explode. Above average doesn’t even begin to describe their toenails.
And then I decided never to visit that site again.
So after some research, I’m making my own quiz to make myself feel better. Feel free to participate.
Add or subtract points for each statement that you agree with below.
1. My child can draw a straight line at 18 months. (Add 5 points)
2. My child can speak in full sentences by age 2. (Add 10 points)
3. My child goes for “Unleash Your Inner Brainiac” lessons twice a week. (Subtract 50 points. Cheating.)
4. My child bakes cupcakes for homeless people (Subtract 25 points. Showing off)
5. My child can converse in 6 different languages, including sign language and the sonic chanting in E-flat by the Bedouin monks of the Al Maghreb mountains. (Add 100 points)
6. My child can spell Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. (Add 5 points)
7. My child can pronounce Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis backwards. Twice. (Subtract 10 points. Who does that??)
8. My child can play Beethoven: Sonata Hammerklavier opus 106 entirely from memory. (Add 1o points)
9. My child can sit through someone playing Beethoven: Sonata Hammerklavier opus 106 without falling asleep. (Add 25 points)
10. This is ridiculous. My child can come up with a better genius quiz than this. (Add 500 points)
Tune in for the next quiz: Should I be spending this much time doing quizzes?