On the bright side, I’ve lasted 37 weeks (!!) but honestly, this pregnancy has been really tough, by far the toughest among the four. And the closer I get to the end, the more intent my body seems on making it as unpleasant as possible.
I have all the ailments of the previous pregnancies plus some new ones I didn’t even know existed.
Like this is the first time I’m having severe dizzy spells, almost to the point where I’m about to pass out. These flashes of vertigo and disequilibrium makes my brain feel like it’s submerged in water and I don’t know if I’m even vertical or which side is up; I just want to curl up like a ball on the floor with a bucket in my face. It’s a terribly helpless feeling, not knowing when it’ll hit or how long it’ll last or what to do about it.
And the cramps! I’m cramping all the time. Braxton Hicks contractions is like your body’s way of being mean just for fun. As if one round of actual labor isn’t enough, it’s like “here, you need some practice pain before the real pain.”
But I’m starting to see the genius in this, it’s part of the grand plan to make the last trimester so awful that it trumps the trauma of labor so by the time the real labor comes, you’re so miserable that you welcome it with open arms.
At this point, I’m looking forward to the pain, because then it means that everything is finally coming to an end. So every time I start to cramp up, I get super excited, like “Oh oh oh is it time now? How about now? Or now? Or now? PLEASE MAKE IT NOW I WANT MORE PAIN!! GIVE ME PAIN!!!”
And then after 2-3 rounds of contractions, nothing.
“Ha, gotcha! Practice over, get back to being pregnant!” says my uterus.
Anticlimax, I’m so over you.
All my kids have been delivered full term or beyond so I don’t have high hopes of this baby coming early. But hope’s a funny thing – even the littlest bit can be comforting. Or crushingly disappointing. One of those.
Everyday, I wake up and ask my comfy uterus the same question: “Are we there yet?”
And everyday, I get back the same response. “We’ll get there when we get there.”