For my mid afternoon snack yesterday, I made myself a grilled cheese with tomato sandwich. I usually have several slices of bacon with my grilled cheese in lieu of anything resembling a vegetable, but during my gynae appointment on Monday, I was told that my weight gain is getting “alarmingly rapid”.
After keeping my weight gain to just 8 kg in 32 weeks, I’ve put on another 3 kg in the last month alone, of which only 200 grams belong to the baby.
I guess that counts as alarming.
Also, I hate you, last trimester hormones.
So I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to enjoy my vegetable sandwich and not think about bacon when the kids came sauntering in.
Tru: What are you having, mommy?
Me: A sandwich. Want some?
Both: Me, me, I want!
Kirsten took a bite and immediately started making gagging faces before letting the whole gooey lump fall out of her mouth.
Kirsten: That’s not a sandwich. It’s gross.
Me: What do you mean it’s not a sandwich? It’s a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich. And it’s not gross.
Ok, it was totally gross but if I was going to endure a vegetable sandwich, they were going to suffer together with me.
Kirsten: Sandwich is not s’posed to have tomato…where’s the bacon?
Me: Guys, we’re not going to have bacon for a while because mommy’s on a diet. It’s vegetables for everyone yay!!
Tru: What’s a diet?
Me: A diet is when mommy needs to eat less to lose weight, and I’m not allowed to have bacon.
Tru: Because you’re becoming fat?
Me: Hey, I’m pregnant, there’s a difference. And it’s because of you guys that I’m even in this predicament.
Tru: But Truett and mei mei are not fat what. We can have bacon, you eat the vegetables.
If you must know, they got their bacon sandwich and I might have snuck one or two slices into mine as well.
For the record, if I get really fat, it’s definitely the kids’ fault. All 3 of them.