Would you believe that after 5 weeks of expressing milk, I haven’t had the guts to try it once? The husband would rather die than to try it (being lactose intolerant and all – but I think it’s just an excuse) and the one time I gave some to Tru, he made a face and spat it out. Seriously, he SPAT IT OUT! The nerve. The breast milk that I spent 200 hours with a pump attached to my boobs trying to squeeze out.
I mean, it can’t be that bad, can it? I hear it’s supposed to be sweet and light. Like kinda watery and filled with all sorts of natural goodness. Besides, Kirsten seems to like it, seeing how she decimates it throughout the day without complaint.
Since the men in my house are too chicken to drink it, I thought I’d step up and give it a shot. Suffice to say, I should have learnt something from watching all those episodes of fear factor. If you’ve noticed during the eating segment, there are the eaters and the chokers and the thing that separates the two is the smell. It’s not the sight or texture, but the smell that really messes with your head. Those that smell it usually end up spitting it out.
While the kids were asleep and the husband was at work, I poured out a small glass to try. I thought of having it with Oreos (you know, twist and dunk) but since I couldn’t perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre on myself, I didn’t want to end up choking on Oreos and dying. My kids would have to explain the stupidity of their mom to their friends all their lives and they would really hate me. “Oh, this one time when we were sleeping, my mom had Oreos with her breast milk and choked to death.”
So I had it on the rocks. Except that when it entered my mouth, I forgot and took a giant whiff of it. I cannot do justice to the smell because words fail me. It’s like unpasteurized goat’s milk mixed with a dash of human sweat and a little musk. NASTY. Most of it ended up on the floor, together with the remnants of my tuna melt.
Now I actually feel bad that Kirsten has to drink this 8 times a day. No wonder she gets cranky once in a while. I should totally cut her some slack. You’re most welcome to give it a try if you want.