pregnancy

27 hours

I’ve got a long overdue post on the labor and delivery. 27 hours must be some kind of record and folks all want to know what the experience was like. I dare say, there’s no other experience like childbirth and that’s why dudes will never understand. That’s also why they must be the first to apologize in every argument. It’s like a trump card with unlimited powers.

All fights with the husband should go something like this.

Husband: You’re being irrational and unreasonable.

Me: I gave birth to your kids. There’s nothing rational about THAT.

Husband: Yes, but it doesn’t mean I have to give in all the time.

Me: 27 hours. That’s how long I was in labor.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Me: You don’t look sorry. I need to see some remorse here.

*This should eventually lead to some diamonds, flowers and some pretty hot sexytime.

Never mind that in the 27 hours, I was chilling out watching Chuck for about 10, and for the next 16, I was under the influence of epidural. But then again, that 1 hour of pain almost drove me to hurl profanities at the nurse, midwife and most of all, the husband, without whom I would not be in that state to begin with.

You know how sometimes on retrospect, some experiences seem less painful with the benefit of hindsight? Like this one time, I had a bad fall while rollerblading and a huge patch of skin got scraped off from my right side near my spleen. It hurt then, but now that I think about it, the pain was not that bad.

TOTALLY NOT THE SAME for labor. When I think about it now, I still get a shiver down my spine, because it felt like someone was rolling my uterus into a tiny ball and mashing it up. Seriously, if they didn’t give me the epidural, I would have been shouting for cyanide.

Although I did enjoy the part where I could feel the baby coming out. The only good thing about the contractions was that it culminated into that one moment where I could finally start pushing the baby out. It was like a scene right out of Grey’s Anantomy. I had one leg propped against the gynae’s hip and the other leg against the nurse and they were both yelling at me to PUSH. At that point, I had no idea which muscle to contract anymore, so it was pretty much mayhem in there. I had sweat pouring down my face and I was making sounds only Chewbacca could understand.

The whole time, the husband was peering intently at the goings-on, looking terribly appalled. I’m sure glad its over, but I’m also glad I went through it. I say mothers should be given a medal of honor, like a purple heart or something. Then again, we’ve got the kids to show for it, which is a way cooler medal if you ask me.

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8 Comments

  • Reply pumpkinmama July 28, 2009 at 6:18 am

    It is my dubious honour to say I’ve got you beat with 37 hours.
    Congrats on those adorable wrinkly feet! :p

    • Reply Daphne July 28, 2009 at 3:08 pm

      @pumpkinmama, i beg your pardon – 37 hours? you should out http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com to see if you may have a new place in history! LOL

      • Reply Yen August 10, 2009 at 11:56 am

        @Daphne,
        hahaha I wonder if my 48 hrs will bring me more flowers, kisses and giving in’s from the husband! :)
        btw, I just chanced upon your blog and thanks for your humor!!! :)

        • Reply Daphne August 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm

          @Yen, 48 gets you an iPhone, an LV bag and a 2-week stay at the Bahamas with a menservant (your hubby) feeding you grapes. Go girl and claim your rightful reward(s)!

  • Reply jude July 28, 2009 at 9:20 am

    i m turning pale with the thoughts of labor pain!

  • Reply the somewhat kinky Pregnancy&Me webinar | MOTHER, INC. August 27, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    […] AP Tan Kok Hian, Chairman of O&G at KK Hospital. (Seeing how they managed to deliver my baby after a grueling 27 hours via natural birth has filled me with all sorts of good feelings towards their O&G department) Also, they have a […]

  • Reply I (heart) my boobs | MOTHER, INC. November 14, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    […] While I was stuck at the hospital for 27 hours, I was bombarded with tacky posters of how BREASTFEEDING IS THE ONLY WAY and the evil formula was going to make my baby self-destruct. Except that I already have a baby who survived on formula milk and he seems to be doing fine (fine being relative because he likes to eat dirt a lot, which might not be the case had I given him breast milk). But even then, I felt terribly guilty all the time for not being able to breastfeed him, like I was shortchanging him or something. […]

  • Reply sarah April 10, 2013 at 11:34 am

    I was in labor for 27 hours .I thought it was never going to end.towards the end of labor .I told my husband and my midwife and my girlfriend.I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.THE were coaching me you can do this while trying to stick with my lamaze breathing and having painfull contractions every two minutes .MY HUSBAND VIDEOTAPE THE BIRTH OF DAUGHTER .I PUSHED ONE HOUR STRAIGHT .THEN SHE MADE HER ENTERANCE.I told my husband after the birth that i could have four more babies.he looked at me said .thank god you have babies in family this was my first labor.we named her paige .since then i have twin boys cameron andryder labor was 15 hours long.my wife just had twin girls april and georgia labor was 2 hours long at home.

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