Love Wins

This is a story of unrequited love. At least, that’s how it all began.

We have Kirsten, the big sister who adores her cute little chubby baby with all of her heart. And one baby Theo, the chubby baby who is intent on rejecting her advances.

From the day Theo was born, Kirsten has been all in 100% in lavishing him with affection. She’s the sweetest, most patient and attentive big sister – watching out for him and giving in to him all the time and letting him destroy her stuff without getting even a little bit mad. She takes the time to read to him and bring him out for rides on her scooter and share all her favourite food with him.

(To be fair, Tru and Finn both love him in their own way, but it’s far less effusive and they certainly don’t baby him like Kirsten does.)

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I don’t know, maybe it’s a boy thing. Baby Theo is naturally drawn to the boys team and all the mischief they get up to. (WHY???!!!) Kirsten will be fussing over him and he’ll squeal “DON’T LIKE JIE JIE KISS!!“, then run after his two big brothers instead.

Maybe his ridiculously high levels of testosterone makes him predisposed to not wanting to be babied by his big sister. And she loves to baby him so. She’ll hug him and kiss him and hold his hand and follow him everywhere and I think he feels it’s too stifling.

Or maybe he’s just playing hard to get. I suppose this particular skill of being all coy with girls will probably come in handy in another 15 years or so, but it’s way too early to start practicing.

Sometimes, I’ll make Theo apologise and give her a hug (which he does reluctantly), but as a parent, it’s hard to force a relationship with perfunctory gestures. The best thing I could do was explain to Kirsten that babies don’t think before doing stuff and one day, he’ll realise how loved he is and how good he’s got it. Incredibly, Kirsten has taken it in the best manner a 7-year-old possibly can. I can tell that she feels hurt when the baby pushes her away, but she’ll still try to cheer him up with his favourite toy or put up a funny dance to make him smile.

I think it’s been paying off because lately, baby Theo has been all about his big sister. He’ll ask for Kirsten when he’s going to bed, and demand that she hold his hand when we go out.

HOLD HANDS, JIE JIE!!” he’ll yell and I’ll see a tiny smile form on his big sister’s face.

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Watching the kids develop a relationship on their own is one of the very best parts about having this many kids.


Too much testosterone

It’s way too late for me to do anything about it at this point, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to having 3 boys.

As it is, I’m not a girly girl and I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it would be like to raise 3 boys, but some days, I just have no words.


I was fixing puzzles with baby Theo when out of nowhere, I get punched really hard in the eye. Not like a nudge or a pretend punch. It was a full on fist into eye sort of wallop. WHICH REALLY HURT!

When I finally regained some sight in my right eye, I realised it was Finn who delivered the blinding blow, and he was wearing an oven mitt on his right fist.

OI! What was that for?? That really hurts, ouch!!

It’s my superpower. When I wear this special glove, I got special powers, I need to punch the bad guys,” he explained.

He wasn’t mad or being malicious, just very matter of fact, like he couldn’t help himself. Stereotypical as it may be, Kirsten’s usage of this particular oven mitt has been of a far less violent nature. In fact, it was often accompanied by delicious pretend meals which I got to pretend eat.

Okayyy, but I’m not a bad guy and no more punching, Finn. You need to find another superpower, this isn’t working out. Go make plants grow at super speed or something.

Sorry, mom. Here’s a flower for you.

He kissed me on the eye before running off with his oven mitt still firmly intact. And I was already too exhausted to make him take it off.

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I’ve discovered that outdoor time means very different things for Kirsten and the boys. We usually set off together and Kirsten will be doing normal things like cycling or looking at flowers or hanging out at the playground.

Meanwhile, the boys will be off searching for all manner of super gross crawling things, which I subtly try to steer them away from. It almost never works. This one time, they found a snail and they were so thrilled it was like they discovered buried treasure. They spent 15 minutes completely fascinated by it.

Can we keep it, please please please??? We promise to take care of it.

I usually try to work out a compromise when they flash me those doleful eyes but a snail pet in my house?? Hahahahaha NO WAY that’s ever happening.



Have I already mentioned that I’m really glad Hayley is a girl? Because I am. It’ll be so nice to have another girl around here.


Down to 4 weeks

Week 36. I’m pretty sure this is the point where I start to panic.

I’ve been trying to enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy because this is the last time I’m ever doing this. For real this time, y’all! This will be the last time I’m going to feel the flutter of a baby’s feet against my ribcage while I try to sleep at night. Or be able to stop in the middle of a busy day just to talk to my belly because the baby needs her daily dose of mommy time. Or have access to an unlimited stash of coupons for extra massages and special attention from my big kids.

Just over the weekend, I woke up to Finn whispering “You’re so cute, baby Hayley” at my stomach. I’m going to miss that.

But as each day passes and I get closer to the delivery, reality (and mostly panic!) starts to sink in.

Am I really gonna be able to cope with 5 kids??!! The logistics of getting everyone where they need to be at various points in the day is going to be insane.

And another newborn??? Remember the soul crushing exhaustion from not sleeping for 300 hours?? Have fun with that.

I’ll also have to get through another round of labor + delivery before we get to the screaming newborn part.

Why did I ever think this was a good idea?

The only thing that makes it better is knowing that I’m meeting my baby soon and she’ll be the most beautiful tiny human being I’ve ever seen. Ok, I’ve seen 4 ridiculously cute ones but each time, it’s like meeting the love of your life for the first time and that takes your breath away.


And how’s baby Hayley doing? Very well.

She’s enjoying herself a little too much, it seems. There are 4 more weeks of baking to be done and baby Hayley’s already pushing 3kg, which puts her at the chubbiest of the lot by far. At this rate, she’ll make it to 3.5kg and beyond, which is super adorable once she’s out but seeing that I’m the one having to birth a chubby baby at the risk of a possible c-sect wound rupture, I’m under strict orders to dial back on eating as a whole.

I thought I’d done a nice job keeping the weight gain to a low 8kg this pregnancy, but clearly this baby is a foodie, so I’m having to stage an intervention.

Last week, my OBGYN handed me a very long list of all the things I’m not allowed to eat until the baby is out and it is brutal. This is the one thing I enjoy most during pregnancy, to eat as I wish because BABY! But down to 4 weeks of my final pregnancy and I’m giving up food too. :(

There will be no milk, no bubble tea, no late night milo, no durians, no cake, no hokkien mee with extra crispy pork lard, no desserts of any kind, and a limit of 8 grapes each time??! No, really, who eats 8 grapes each time? It’s like when I tell the kids they can only eat 5 fries and I can see actual sadness in their eyes. If you’re going to be eating fries, then just go to town on the whole box until you get to the point of self loathing. At least that way, you won’t be eating fries for a while, so problem solved.

My doctor tried to make me feel better like, “it’s not so bad, you can still have a slice of wholemeal bread as a snack” and I was like “um thanks but you’re kind of making it worse.

In any case, 4 more weeks…we’re getting there!