I thought I’d get a head start on toilet training Finn, and they say the best way to learn is to watch someone else do it right, so I got Truett to perform a little demonstration.
Me: Hey Finn, who wants to learn to go pee like a big boy?
Finn: (points at his chest) Me, me, me!
Me: Kor kor will do a demo for you, just watch and learn. Ok, Tru, can you show your brother how this is done?
*Truett delivers a smashing demo of how to pee into the toilet bowl*
Finn: (giggles his head off) HAHAHAHAHHAHA PEE…PEE HAHAHA PEE…PEE HAHAHHA PEE…PENIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (grabs his face and continues laughing)
Me: Okay, this is not working out very well, let’s table this for another time, great job everyone!
So this little boy of mine hates haircuts with a vengeance. Remember how I was trying to grow out his gorgeous floppy hair when he was a baby? It might have something to do with the fact that no razor touched his head the entire first year of his life and this kid does not realise that haircutting is a very important part of civilised human existence.
Every haircut is a massive 3-man operation. The husband hugs him with a death grip and I have to hold his head in place while the hairdresser lady does her thing; and lo, there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth. His eyes filled with big, sad tears, he’ll give me a look that says “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME MOMMA??? PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP!!!”
I tried to pep talk him before his recent haircut.
Me: It’s time for a haircut, baby. Don’t worry, you’ll be ok, it doesn’t hurt.
Finn:(frowny face) NO NO HAIR CUT. NO!
Me: But Finn is a brave boy. You can do it!
Finn: (points to my chest) Momma brave boy.
Me: Well, yeah, momma’s quite brave but I need you to be brave too ok?
Finn: (tears starting to form in his eyes) Momma brave boy. Finn Finn handsome boy. No no hair cut.
Me: I’m sorry, son. We need to do this. Daddy will have to hold you and you’ll be just fine. You just try your best?
Finn: (flops his head down on my shoulder, lots of tears streaming down his cheeks by now) Okay momma, okay. (sob, sob, sob)
On sharing apples…
Finn: (holds out his half eaten apple) Momma wants apple?
Me: Wow, sure!
Finn: One for Finn Finn, one for momma.
Me: (taking the last bite of apple) Thanks sweetheart!
Finn: Where Finn Finn’s apple?
Me: You just gave it to me so I ate it.
Finn: No more apple? Momma get ice-cream.
Me: WHAT?!! A tiny bite of apple in exchange for ice-cream? GAHH Total rookie mistake! I should have seen this coming but well played.
He’s got the sweetest, most heartfelt apology I’ve ever heard, which is probably why he gets so few time-outs. He flashes me those bambi eyes, does the sorry sign with his little fist and says “Sorry, momma, I’m sorry.”
Look at those eyes!!?? Okay, all is forgiven.