Baby days

It’s been 10 days with baby Hayley this girl is the sweetest little lamb.

Look at this face. I can’t even.

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But woah, having a newborn is hard. I’ve done this 5 times and it’s still as hard as ever. And having a newborn with 4 other kids, I’m not going to lie to you, it’s really, really hard.

For now though, the hardest part is the sleep deprivation.

//Day 1 back home, you’re like, “It’s ok, we can do this!!

At 8pm, you start the bedtime routine – bath, songs, cuddles, feed, and you allow yourself to hope that maybe tonight you’ll get to sleep in 2 hour stretches. I don’t ask for much, just 3 x 2 hour stretches in a night and I’d consider it a huge win.

The baby dozes off at 9-ish, so I tuck her into her cot all nice and cosy before tucking myself into bed all nice and cosy. The bed feels deliciously comfy and it takes me all of 2 minutes to fall asleep. 5 minutes in, baby Hayley starts making little whimpers, just enough to make it clear that she’s not enjoying her sleep as much as I’m enjoying mine.

Maybe its nothing. Please, please go back to bed,” my semi-conscious brain says.

Okay, it’s now a full on cry. I get out of my comfy bed to burp the baby. 20 minutes later, no burp and she’s fallen asleep again so I put her down and crawl back into bed. This time, I know better than to fall asleep so quickly. Sure enough, several minutes in, the crying starts again. Check diaper, swaddle, burp, nurse, burp some more. I don’t know what’s causing the fussing so I try everything. This goes on for another 4-5 rounds.

By now it’s about 11pm and after putting her back to bed, I know better than to get back into bed because it’s so much harder to haul myself back out again. It’s easier to end the torture and make myself fully awake so I can commit to this without feeling quite as miserable or grouchy. So I’m sitting next to her cot ready to pick her up again but after 10 minutes, nothing. It looks like she’s finally out and I get back into bed to force my fully awake brain to shut off and go to sleep.

At this point, insomnia kicks in and I’m trying desperately to fall asleep, knowing that each minute I lie here awake is a minute of sleep I’m missing out on. But the anxiety makes it worse so I spend 20 minutes tossing and turning until I finally fall asleep. I get like 40 minutes of shut eye before I hear the next cry and it’s back to the burp/feed/fuss routine again for the rest of the night.

//Day 2 and 3, you’ve still got enough reserves to keep going on sheer mental strength alone but after a week of this, you just feel like you want to give up on life.


But then I get to hold this gorgeous baby and feel her baby weight on my chest as she sleeps and inhale that soft baby scent and look at her try so hard to open those sleepy baby eyes and I think that I’d be happy to do this a thousand times over no matter how hard it gets or how exhausted my brain tells me I am.

hayley theo

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Hello Hayley :)

We finally got to meet baby Hayley and she’s perfect.

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The kids are all so thrilled to have a new baby. Truett is all big brother, running to check on her at every sound she makes. Finn says baby girls are nice to kiss because she “smells like roses“. And Theo is fascinated to see a baby smaller than he is. He’ll shove random toys at her, and even gave her his favourite blanket for several minutes before deciding that it was too much of a sacrifice.

But I think the one kid who’s most thrilled is Kirsten, who finally has a baby sister joining her in the girl’s team. She’s been asking to hold her and kiss her and she just stands next to the cot whispering lullabies to her baby all day.

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It’s starting to sink in that we now have 5 kids and I’m mildly terrified at the thought of having to be responsible for all 5 of these tiny humans. FIVE!! BABIES!!??? This is so insane.

We’re gonna take a couple of days/weeks/months to get into our groove, but for now, we’re just really grateful to have baby Hayley in the family.


T minus 5 days

It’s T minus 5 days till this baby is scheduled to make an appearance. It’s been a long, long pregnancy and I’m so ready to get this baby out of here.

I’ve been ready a month ago, but baby Hayley, like all my other babies before her, is so comfy in this uterine home that she has no desire at all to come out. It’s nice to know that I’ve got a very cosy and homely uterus, but she’s already at a chubby 3.1 kg as of yesterday and I feel like a momma bird who needs to give this baby bird a kick in her sweet little bottom so she’ll get a move on out of the nest and learn to fly.

Except this baby bird is all like “Go away, I just want to curl up right here and sleep because I can” and there’s literally nothing I can do to make her come out sooner so I’ll just be like “Fine, be that way.

According to my OBGYN, induction is out of the question, and we can go all the way up to T plus 2 weeks(!!) before even considering any form of intervention.

So we’re just here waiting.

Waiting to give birth is a bit like waiting for Christmas morning when you know you’re getting a really cool present and a little like waiting to get your teeth pulled out. Part of you is like “HURRY HAPPEN NOWWW!” and part of you is like “okay, maybe don’t happen at all I think I don’t want to do this anymore.”

And you’re looking out anxiously for all these signs of labour like did my water bag burst or was it a case of incontinence. Or what does a mucus plug look like? (Fair warning: I do not recommend that you google this.) Braxton hicks? I’m so done with you.

For a few weeks now, I’ve been having these terrible contractions that last several hours at a time. I went into the labor ward once thinking it was GO TIME, but after a whole night of very painful contractions coming in at 8-12 minutes, I only dilated all of 1cm. Since then, the contractions come and go. Sometimes the pain level is like a 7-8 and I think I can’t do this anymore, but after a few hours, it goes away and then, nothing. At this point, I’m determined to power through the pain and I’m not going back into the labour ward until I see the baby’s head. I’ve also been making the husband watch youtube videos on How To Deliver A Baby just in case he has to do this at home. You’d think I’m kidding, but not really. Hot water, towels and a pair of scissors, those are all of the things I need and I’ve got them ready right here.

One way or another, something’s gonna be happening soon!!