Finn

Bros before um…other stuff.

Being a big brother is hard. But what’s even harder is being a big brother after having been the baby of the family. You get used to being babied by everyone all your life, then suddenly, you have to give up all those wonderful baby privileges to a smaller baby who’s clingy and chubby and cute. Urgh. The cute ones are the worst.

Also, everyone starts calling you a big kor kor like that’s some kind of mysterious perk whenever they want you to give in to the other baby. Annoying.

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9 months in and Finn has adjusted relatively well to the role of a sandwiched big brother. Well, mostly. It’s been a big change for him, having to relinquish dibs on everything ranging from toys to attention to mommy-time.

I try to baby this second littlest child of mine whenever I can but I think he still feels it sometimes, especially when Theo gets all needy and clingy like he’s been so often lately.

This happened some nights ago.

Finn: Momma, is it you don’t want me?

Me: What?? Why would you say that, baby? Of course momma wants you.

Finn: You don’t want Finn Finn, you want baby Theo?

Me: No way. Hey, momma will always, always want you. I know sometimes I have to feed baby Theo first and you have to be patient. You’ve been a really rad big brother. And mommy will always want you, you know that right?

Finn: Which one do you like, momma? Baby Theo or Finn Finn? Which one do you like?

Me: Both. I like you both. See, this is my heart, and this heart loved kor kor and jie jie. When Finn was born, my heart got bigger so I could love you too. And when baby Theo was born, momma’s heart got really big like this. So that there’s always room for all of you. Promise.

Finn: Ok momma.

Me: Hey Finn, do you like baby Theo? I know it’s really hard being a big brother, but baby Theo is your baby too. Do you like him?

Finn: Yes momma. I like baby Theo, he’s super cute like a pumpkin.

Me: You’re so cute like a pumpkin.

Finn: No, you’re so cute like a pumpkin, momma.

Sigh, I do wish I could make it easier for this impossibly sweet, big-hearted little boy. 

I brought all 4 kids to the playground yesterday and Finn yelled from his spot at the top of the slide. “Mommmmmm, I need to carry baby Theo. Quick! Bring him here!!”

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I think they’re going to be ok. I hope so.

kids!

Over and out.

Great news! The marble is out, I repeat, THE MARBLE IS OUT. My in-laws are the lucky winners of the super gross family treasure hunt that’s been going on and this is how it all went down. Want to hear it? Sure you do.

Wednesdays are typically the kids’ “midweek party at ah kong and ah ma’s house day”, and this week, I thought of having Truett stay at home with me so I could dissect his poop meself, in the name of parental responsibility and all that. My awesome in-laws were like “it’s ok, we can do it,” and you know me, I’m not one to rob anyone of the joy of partaking in poop treasure hunt. I’m happy to report that yesterday afternoon, they found it, all shiny and round and covered in poop.

Thank you, dad and mom!!

I now declare the poop hunt officially over. And it’s only day 3.5 out of 7. I was prepared to do this for 7 days and I only had to do it for 3. That’s some serious discount we’re talking. It’s like setting aside money to pay full price for your favourite bag, then to find it on sale for half the price. Now you’re like, I have all this extra money, what should I do with it?? Except now I have all this extra faeces-free time to to all sorts of non-faeces related things.

Also, I think I’m done talking about poop. It’s been less than no fun while it lasted.

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Hang on, it doesn’t seem right to leave a post like this, talking about not wanting to talk about poop. One time, I was reading The Graveyard Book before bed and that night, I tried to force yourself not to think about cold-blooded murderers hunting for tiny babies as I fell asleep but that was all I thought about the entire night. (Do not recommend! To clarify, the book was fab, but the timing, exceptionally poor.)

Moral of the story? Always remember to neutralise your brain with adorable cat videos on the internet before going to bed.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a cat, but I do have a baby who’s growing up far too fast for my liking and he’s as good a brain neutraliser as any.

Here’s Finn to wrap things up today, over and out.

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kids!

The incredible marble eating boy

‘Twas a very exciting weekend. Started out with the usual weekend excitement, and then it got plenty more exciting when Truett accidentally swallowed a marble. I know, right?? So many questions. How does one accidentally put a marble in one’s mouth and accidentally forcefully push it to the back of one’s throat and accidentally eat it?

Apparently, it’s possible when one is trying to perform a magic trick for one’s sister.

Behold the amazing marble swallowing trick.

“Kirsten, look carefully, I’m going to make this marble disappear inside my mouth.” For most budding magicians, this involves a masterful sleight of hand plus some artful misdirection, but my son, well, he’s dedicated to his craft, that’s for sure. Method magic, I think they call it.

Sunday afternoon, Truett ran out to the living room, gasping, “I…I swallowed a marble.” On his face was a look of sheer panic. This sort of information takes an extra half a second to sink in, before you get that feeling of paralysing terror that comes when you realise your child is in peril and you couldn’t do anything to help him.

Was he choking? Could he breathe? Should I attempt the heimlich maneuver? What if I break his ribs? I’ve seen that stabby move where they poke a straw into the throat when patients asphyxiate on Grey’s Anatomy. Crap, I don’t have a tiny straw. I should have bought yakult from the supermarket the other day, then I’d have some tiny straws. Ok, don’t panic. Hold it together and think.

“Can you breathe, Tru? I need you to calm down and take a deep breath for me.”

Upon closer inspection, he could breathe. He was hyperventilating, and his breath was shallow, but I could hear breathing, so that’s good. At least it’s not obstructing his airway.

“Are you in pain? Does your throat or chest hurt?”

He nodded, looking teary and terrified. Poor baby. He must be feeling even more afraid that I was right then. I gave him a hug and told him it’s going to be ok.

“First, my chest was pain, then my stomach. I think it’s in here,” he said, pointing at his abdomen.

We brought him in for an x-ray and indeed, there’s a spherical foreign object in his digestive tract. Look at it, it’s monstrous.

swallowed marble

The doctor at Raffles initially recommended a scope (under general anaesthesia) to retrieve it, but after some consult with another paediatric surgeon, seems like the best option right now is to sit tight and wait for it to pass out from his system. He’s got 7 days to poop it out before they go in to get it.

Thankfully, he’s gotten past the initial shock and he’s back to his usual merry self. “Hahaha, you can call me the incredible marble eating boy,” he told Kirsten while waiting to have his x-ray done. Not bad, still can joke. (h/t to Oliver Jeffers)

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Group hugs for moral support while waiting for the x-ray

Meanwhile, I have the unfortunate job of performing surgery on his poop to locate a marble like a super gross treasure hunt. They don’t tell you this when you become a mom, that your duties would include smooshing poop with a spatula (that will be thrown away after 7 days or once I locate the marble, whichever comes sooner. I mean the spatula, not the poop. The poop gets thrown away immediately, it’s not like I’m keeping it as a souvenir or anything.) But they also don’t tell you that it’s really not that bad. You’ll just throw up a little in your mouth during the first couple of times, then it gets easier. Kidding. Smooshing poop never gets easy but hey, at least my baby’s ok and he’s generating poop for me to smoosh. I’ll take that over…you know, the alternative.

The husband had a chat with him to see how this could have happened and turns out, he wasn’t dumb enough to want to swallow the marble. He was trying to hide it under his tongue while talking at the same time but the marble was very slippery (who knew??!!) and it rolled up over his tongue and down the back of his throat. I might have laughed for 2 minutes when I heard the explanation because as someone who has done my share of stupid things as a child (and adult), this sounds entirely plausible.

At least now he knows not to put non-edible things into his mouth ever again.

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On another note, I think I’m signing up for one of those child first aid CPR classes. It’s terrifying knowing that I’m not equipped to handle a real emergency and 4 babies = 4 times the risk of having something bad accidentally happen.