not feeling so supermom, side effects of motherhood

Today, I’m happy

Finn’s been sick again, this time with a stomach bug and all the usual symptoms. Projectile vomiting, diarrhea (of the particularly explosive variety), bloatedness, gas, the whole works.

Twice, he pooped all over my shirt. Once, he vomited into my shirt while I tried to burp him on my chest. It’s like he got all upset with the milk and was aiming it back at my boobs to make a point. Like “here, take it back, this milk isn’t working for me, mom.”

That’s alright though. It’s just vomit.

The really tough part is the stomach discomfort. He would clench his little fists and scream like he was in pain. I tried carrying him and nursing him and distracting him but he’d just cry and cry until he got tired and fell asleep in my arms. Once I put him down, the cycle would start again. This intense exhaustion, it’s like the parenting equivalent of waterboarding and it gets to you. A few days in, I got frustrated with all the screaming and immediately I’d be frustrated at myself for being frustrated at him because he’s just a baby who’s in pain.

But you know what helps?

Looking at this.

Well, not exactly in a basket but looking at him as he’s in my arms and knowing that the worst of it passes after a while. He won’t be this tiny forever. Tomorrow, he’ll wake up and be a little bigger, and then even bigger the morning after that. Soon enough, he won’t want me to hold him when he’s got a stomach flu.

Today, my baby needs me so I’m going to dig deep and activate the crazy mommy part of my brain that’s actually happy to do it.

Sleep can wait a couple more days. Or months.

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23 Comments

  • Reply Madeline October 9, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Jiayou!!! There was once my girl was sick and cried every hour and I had to get up and comfort her AND had to go to work the next day. I seriously don’t know how I survived the day.
    Madeline´s last post ..A Day in the Life of a Psychologist Mum

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:14 am

      Superhero mommy powers.

  • Reply Yiwei | Foodeology October 9, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    “Soon enough, he won’t want me to hold him when he’s got a stomach flu.” :((

    There’s always some small little thing in your posts that will touch my heart… really love your writing~

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:14 am

      Thanks babe!! Hope you’re keeping well, it’s been a while since Melbourne :)

  • Reply Serenely October 9, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Little Finn looks so perfect. I can see why just that one look is enough to give you the strength to keep going. Do take care of yourself
    Serenely´s last post ..The importance of confinement support

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:16 am

      Yes! I’ve been trying to get whatever pockets of sleep I can, which definitely helps

  • Reply Abby October 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

    It is so painful to see when baby is in pain, they are suffering but they can’t express it. I am sure you have done the best you can.
    Abby´s last post ..Chasing birds and laughters

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:16 am

      Exactly.. but thankfully he’s much better already. He’s keeping most of his milk down and putting on weight again.

  • Reply Eunice October 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

    You can do it, Daph!!! Hope Finn gets well soon!

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:16 am

      Thanks Eunice!

  • Reply Grace Chiang October 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Little Finn is totally too adorable to get frustrated for long! :D Totally can understand what you’re going through but once the grey skies clear, their smiles will always be like the rainbows, bright and beautiful! Gambatte fellow mommy!~

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

      Well said! Their smiles have a way of making everything seem better…

  • Reply Justine October 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Hi Daphne,

    Sorry to hear poor bb Finn is sick!! Ya I know and gone thru e frustrations of having to take care of a sick bb. Mine is oso down with bad URTI now.. He got it from his gor gor.. I am oso having my fair share of crying n throwing my temper when I’m too exhausted from lack of sleep and trying to coax them.. I hope Finn gets well soon! U hang in there alright! Must give urself or get hubby to give a gd pat on your shoulder cos u are already doing a DAMN GOOD job!!!

    That’s a really nice photo of Finn.. I wish i know how to take nice photos like this too! sigh… Wish I had taken more pictures of mine when he’s was still in that wriggly state.. Too bad was having a really tough time adjusting to be able to think of anything else.

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

      The husband has been really helpful, he just gave me a day off to do my hair yesterday heh..

      • Reply Justine October 12, 2012 at 10:26 am

        That’s so nice!

        I have been DYING to go to the salon for someone to wash n cut my hair for the past 6months!! Hair really look like a drag i dont bother to look at myself in the mirror for more than 1 min.. So envious of u heh..

        • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:33 am

          I have to go color my hair every couple of months because I have like a severe white hair situation.

          It’s so bad that like 15% of my hair is completely white and if I don’t color it, I look like Rogue from X-men, except maybe not as hot.

          • Justine October 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm

            Wow then I guess ur trip to the salon is a definite priority as compared to mine.. I guess if u see it on the bright side it’s not that bad since that means u r “force” to go salon for hair treatment on regular basis.. Form of relaxation ah..

  • Reply alexis October 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    awww toooo cute!!!! wish i could carry him. HAHAHA!

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Hahhaha please do!! Babysitting offers are always welcome

  • Reply Elaine October 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Oh dear, its the worst when they’re so young and sick. I’m amazed at your ability to summon up energy to dole out as much love and cuddles as Finn (and Tru and Kirsten) need AND write so well.

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:21 am

      Aww, that’s really sweet thanks!

  • Reply cardigal October 10, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Can try gripe water for the gas? I gave mine that when she’s having stomach wind and kept crying. Just once a day, twice a week, should be fine. All the best Daphne!

    • Reply Daphne October 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

      I got some colic drops and probiotics from the doctor and I think they work the same way too

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