motherhood, the breast things in life are free

Miracles

It would have been a lovely Monday if not for the fact that it is getting quite unbearably hot around here. It seems compounded by the fact that my pregnant ass is generating heat like a Josper Charcoal Broiler Oven. As I’m sitting here spritzing myself with the spray my mom uses to water her plants, I so wish I had a tub of ice to soak my super hot, heat generating self in for the rest of the day.

But then I wouldn’t be able to blog because I’m probably going to end up dropping my laptop into the tub and electrocuting myself. Which would be bad because I do have something I wanted to talk about today.

Days like these, I wish I had a personal assistant to type whatever I said while I sat in my ice-tub all day. And also feed me grapes. And massage my feet.

The husband says it would be a whole lot easier to blast the air conditioning because people these days don’t have to rely on a tub full of ice to cool down. But the man hasn’t been pregnant before so he obviously doesn’t know the difference. Sitting in an air-conditioned room having to do my own typing isn’t nearly as fun as sitting in my ice-tub with a grape-feeding, feet-massaging personal assistant who was also good at dictation.

Anyhow, last night, I dreamt about Finn. Or rather, I dreamt about myself giving birth to Finn, who by the way, was beautiful and perfect and tiny. In fact, he was far too tiny because in my dream, I had gone into labor and given birth to him at 26 weeks. The whole time I kept screaming that it was far too early for him to be born and they were supposed to STOP HIM FROM COMING OUT QUICK PUSH HIM BACK IN NOW!! But he was intent on coming out and because he was so tiny, all his organs haven’t fully developed so they had to take him away and stick lots of tubes into his body.

Even though it was a dream, it was terrifying because there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it.

I know I sometimes kid about how difficult it is to be pregnant and make a baby but the truth is that while being pregnant is occasionally uncomfortable, I’m really not much more than a storage facility. I mean, I go about my day, go to sleep and wake up and without me even thinking about it, the baby develops and grows. God is the one forming the little fingers and ears and intestines and all I do is channel part of my bacon sandwich to the baby. I can’t make him grow any faster or slower or tell him when to come out.

And I’m glad because if I was the one who had to call the shots and make the baby, he’d probably have misshapen toes and a gallbladder where his liver should be.

This being the third pregnancy, I hardly even think about being pregnant until the discomfort from the backaches and constipation hits me, then I send the husband passive aggressive emails about how difficult the pregnancy is because it usually results in an extra back rub when he comes home from work. Or maybe a tub of ice-cream.

I always hear people say that having kids is a miracle and such cliches usually make me cringe inside but today, I’m a little sappy.

So I woke up this morning and after checking to make sure that Finn was still snug in my uterus and growing healthily, I snuck over to give my 2 other kids a hug, thankful for how perfect they are. 

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12 Comments

  • Reply Daphne Maia March 26, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Is that the name u have chosen for ur baby?! *Squeals!* I like that name! Hehe. Finn will be as perfect as Truett and Kirsten. :) It’s really hot and humid today, I agree. Hope u feel better soon. Seems like it’ll rain in a while.
    Daphne Maia´s last post ..Is it dangerous driving to Milford Sound?

    • Reply Daphne March 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Yes it’s going to be Finn! Haha we like it too.. the kids have been calling him baby Finn its so cute

  • Reply Elaine March 26, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    How sweet.
    Elaine´s last post ..Babies do the funniest things

  • Reply leslie March 26, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I’m grateful for blog posts like this to remind us to be always thankful for our kids, despite their naughtiness and all imperfections. When they smile, are happy and healthy, what more can we ask for?

    • Reply Daphne March 27, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Absolutely true! we sometimes take happy and healthy for granted but it’s the most important thing.

  • Reply jaime March 27, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I think the name Finn’s cool too!

    and lovely post!
    jaime´s last post ..Nirwana Gardens – Bintan

  • Reply JY March 27, 2012 at 10:28 am

    Hi Daphne,

    Been reading and enjoying your blog but this is the first time I am writing a comment.

    I am currently 28 weeks pregnant. Also a boy! This will be my 2nd child, despite this being my 4th pregnancy. Lost my 2 other babies due to ectopic pregnancy. Lots of heartache, but thanks to the encouragement around me, I never gave up hope and kept trying.

    I understand some of the fears you are experiencing. When I discovered I am pregnant with my current baby, I was happy yet apprehensive. I told my hubby I don’t know if I can live through another disappointment. I still remembered how tears rolled down my cheek when the gynae confirm this baby is in the right place in the womb. I am so thankful for this miracle baby. God has been kind to bless me with my wonderful 4 year old girl and now the 2nd baby I have been waiting so long for!

    Don’t worry too much during your pregnancy. Believe in God’s grace. I am sure Finn will turn out to be another beautiful baby!

    JY

    • Reply Daphne March 27, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      Hi JY, thanks so much for sharing I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been. You’re really strong to have tried again and congrats on your pregnancy!! So happy for you. Do take care of yourself and I’ll be praying for you too. :)

  • Reply Ai Sakura March 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

    for a moment I was thinking.. wth are you thinking about giving birth to Finn from Glee??! then I realised you were talking about your baby :)
    Ai Sakura´s last post ..Letter to my girl #5

  • Reply Summer March 28, 2012 at 2:38 am

    Hi Daphne, Finn Kao sounds cool! =) That dream sounds scary but I guess it all the more makes us appreciative of our little ones. You know what, I just can’t wait to make another miracle again once I’ve lived out my post-molar pregnancy ban but I know I just have to leave it to fate and just pray that this next miracle will be safe and sound in my womb this time round. =) Can’t wait to see bb Finn!
    Summer´s last post ..Salzburg – Exploring the "Salt Castle" in Austria

  • Reply Madeline March 28, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Passive-aggressive emails to the husband? Amazing idea! Noted it down for my next pregnancy. Haha.

    Definitely not a good dream to have but it probably confirms that you’re really having a boy. Seems some books even say that dreams of your baby’s gender is even more accurate than an ultrasound! Sure came true for me =)
    Madeline´s last post ..Shenzhen Day 2: Dim Sum & Cheap Shopping

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