Letting go of the cute

I used to have a theory that the optimum age of cuteness for kids is between 2 to 4 years old. Ever notice that 3-year-olds get away with anything?

They do the boogie in nothing but their underwear? Maxed out cuteness.

Smear food all over their face and hair and furniture? Gross yet adorable.

Make politically incorrect observations about people? Hilarious.

Shred important work documents and try to eat them? Distressing but still cute.

Sure, they’re compulsive and prone to dramatic outbursts but their level of cuteness makes up for it. In fact, if I had a choice, I’d want the kids to remain toddlers forever. But because I still haven’t managed to invent the pill to make them stop growing, I have 2 kids who are rapidly outgrowing the cute and innocent toddler phase.

Truett has been telling me that he wants to be 10 years old like a big boy while I’m trying to hold on to his babyness for as long as I can. Ok who am I kidding, this kid has no more babyness to hold on to.

He’s crossed over into big boy territory sometime in the last year while I wasn’t looking and a part of me has been mourning that a little bit.

But then last night right around bedtime, I was getting Finn ready for bed when Truett came over to kiss him goodnight. What usually took 3 seconds somehow turned into an unexpected 30-minute conversation, just me and him. We talked about nothing or everything, depending on how you look at it. It wasn’t a life-changing conversation and I doubt either of us will remember it several years down the road but for the first time, I felt like I was having a proper conversation with my kid, one I really enjoyed. I didn’t have to consciously talk at his level or feel compelled to teach him something.

I realized that the kids are changing almost on a daily basis and at every stage, there’s a new discovery to be made and more fun to be had. I’ve got to embrace the change and enjoy the ride, whatever it brings.

Suddenly, cute seems overrated. I’m totally going to enjoy having a big boy.

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  • Reply fara November 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    I have two kids, 8 y/o boy and 5 mths girl. Although my boy is 8, I still treated him as my baby. I would do almost everything for him. That was before I had my daughter with my new husband. He told me he can do stuff on his own, because he is the big brother now. At first I was so sad. I felt pain in my heart. I think it’s because my baby is no longer a baby, he’s becoming a big boy. And yes, I agree to the big boy territory thing. They do cross over. How I wish they can be toddler forever, like you wish. ;)
    fara´s last post ..Mom Always Right

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

      I think in our eyes, they will always be a baby. But I guess every stage is different and equally enjoyable..

  • Reply Ai Sakura November 2, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    there comes a time when it suddently hits you, where did my baby go?? had that moment a few months back and I’m still wondering..
    Ai Sakura´s last post ..Bub & Me: Kampong Buangkok, the Last Singapore Village

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

      They grow up way too fast!!

  • Reply jaime November 2, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    I experienced that just yesterday when I was showering my 3.5 yr old..I was asking what we did the nite before when we went ard the condo trick or treating..
    hen my son replied with the cheekiness look on his face. daddy didnt go right…like saying daddy just miss out on fun yesterday…he keep repeating it with the cheekinesss look on the face…

    like its our biggest little secret…still cute right…t

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      That’s precious! :)

  • Reply Abby November 2, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Well you still have 2 more cute babies! :-)
    Abby´s last post ..What is this?

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:27 pm

      Haha I think it’s 1 and a half. Kirsten is also growing up too fast for my liking. Maybe we’ll do #4 to balance things out a bit.

  • Reply Elaine November 2, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    I met a lady earlier this week who said she has always treated her son as an adult. I wondered how to do that with my 22 month old but when I gave it a go last night, it seemed to work! It does seem our children grow up way faster than we think. They still look mighty cute though, Tru included. Notwithstanding the fact that he is 4-going-on-to-10.
    Elaine´s last post ..Snacking at the ferry terminal

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:31 pm

      That’s actually great advice!

  • Reply Seow Ying November 2, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    I have a son and a pair of twins. They are abt 1.5 yrs apart. So at one point of time, I had all the cuteness I could ever ask for under one roof. Then suddenly BANG WHAM! It’s all gone – all at the same time – now that they are 5.5 and 4 yo. At least, you have it staggered and could still on to the cuteness of the two younger ones a while more…

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      Wow it must have been quite crazy when they were younger! Yeah we’re trying to enjoy the babyness as much as we can with the other 2.

  • Reply Winifred November 4, 2012 at 2:01 am

    Sweet :)

  • Reply Polly November 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I really like this post of yours, cos it hit home. I have a 3yo and a 1.5yo and I always feel that they’re growing way TOO fast. Like you, I wanna hold on to the babyness forever. It’s good to know that there’s more good stuff ahead. Thanks for the inspiration.

    • Reply Daphne November 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      I try to remind myself to enjoy the moment especially when they do stuff to drive us nuts! It’s good to have some perspective when things get stressful and crazy.

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