motherhood

It takes a village

There’s a traditional African proverb that says it takes a village to raise a child, but I was always kind of iffy about that. I mean, it’s a nice idea but 1 kid, really? You need a whole village for that? I could do it with one hand tied behind my back. Oh 2 kids? I’ll need my other hand, I suppose, but not much more. Because see this mom vest I’m wearing, the one that says “MOM” in bold uppercase Arial Black font? That means nobody does a better job with these kids than me so step on aside, I’ve got it covered. (I know, I’m with you – how did I get away with being that annoying?)

Right now with 4 kids, I’m reconsidering my stand on that. As a matter of fact, I’LL GO AHEAD AND TAKE THE VILLAGE OFFER, thankyouverymuch.

Coping with 4 is proving to be quite the challenge. I’m not one to shy away from a challenge but wow, this is a big one. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so out of my depth before, like everything is one step away from spinning out of control and I’m one breath away from drowning.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been dreadfully ill twice in the past couple of weeks, floored by a bout of flu and then followed by a terrible stomach bug episode, of which I am still recovering from. In between vomit sessions with my head still in a barf bag two nights ago, I looked at the husband and said “why did I think I could do this? Because I clearly can’t.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to do this on your own,” my very wise husband said.

It’s true. Raising these kids, making sure they’re clean and fed and hugged and educated and loved, it ain’t a 1-person task. I need my village for that.

Also, when you’re so ill you feel like you’re going to die, you morbidly start thinking about your own mortality. Like “bollocks, what if I die from this, what happens then??” I panicked for a moment at that thought but then I considered my village and I thought, “ok relax, the kids are going to be ok either way. Maybe not the best kind of ok (because hello, mom vest!), but ok enough.” Although turns out that I’m not dying of a stomach virus so that’s moot.

I guess what I mean to say is that this post is really about all the people who make up this village of mine, to whom all the thank you’s in the world would not be sufficient. And perhaps being ill is making me sentimental but they’re the reason my head’s still above water and I am so grateful I’ve got them in my corner.

And as for feeling like I’m out of my depth, well, as my favourite fish, Dory, would say, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” I’m cherishing every crazy, stressful and happy moment one day at a time.

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8 Comments

  • Reply Your sister October 27, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    Aww I love you too sis.

    • Reply Daphne October 29, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      Come back soon! Baby duty awaits :)

  • Reply Sengkangbabies October 28, 2014 at 10:50 am

    You are doing a marvelous job, Daphne. The only consolation is everything will turn better. (Days are long and Years are short)

    Older kids will learn to take care of the smaller ones. The whole house will be so Lively (or noisy).

    I am still in awe of my Mrs, sometimes I wonder how she struggles when I go overseas or reservist.

    cheers,
    andy
    Sengkangbabies´s last post ..Fighting Monsters at POLW

    • Reply Christine October 28, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      Good advice, Andy! After I lost my son a couple months ago, I now want at least 3 kids in my house. Can’t wait to feel my house becoming so crowded like yours. Hopefully one day, I can parent more kids. You two are such inspiration. Seeing you two, I feel that raising more than 3 kids in this era are still doable and possible! Jiayou, Daphne.
      Christine´s last post ..A Day in Tanjung Sepat

      • Reply Daphne October 29, 2014 at 12:07 pm

        Hi Christine, just read your story and it’s heartbreaking. So sorry to hear that, hope you’re feeling better. Hang in there babe!

    • Reply Daphne October 29, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      Thanks Andy! Your wife is power! Can’t imagine how she handled 4 especially when you’re away. But you’re right, it will be so fun when they’re older

  • Reply Lyn Lee October 28, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    You are a hero, period. And our friend Momo too!
    Lyn Lee´s last post ..Parenting has no guarantees

    • Reply Daphne October 29, 2014 at 12:08 pm

      LOL Momo is the hero!

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