A bucketful of dreams

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been doing this mommy gig for almost two years. As Tru approaches his second birthday, I can’t help but feel like time is slipping through my fingers without even noticing it’s gone,

Two years of living, sleeping, breathing, thinking of nothing else but the kids. It seemed like yesterday when I was still dreaming of the powdered peaks in Lake Tahoe and planning my career as a media person. I used to say that Singapore was too small for me. I dreamed of joining a PR firm in New York, going on a book tour, shooting a film, learning dance, maybe even writing a screenplay. I wasn’t going to spend my life doing the same thing in the same place until I got too old to bother trying something new.

Then kids came along. And for a while, I stopped dreaming. I was content, even happy to wake up every morning to my babies. Heck, I even managed to not leave the house for a whole year (except for a couple of hours every weekend). All I wanted to do everyday was to survive till nightfall, when I could sit back and breathe before a new day ambushed me.

I wasn’t counting on the kids growing up so fast. Every day, it gets a little bit less intense and they need me a little less. And to be honest, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do when they start going to school and getting married and starting their own families. I know that’s a long time away but this thing called time, it sneaks away from you. One day you’re 18 and unstoppable but before you know it, you’re left wondering what you did with all that time.

I love being a mom and I’d gladly spend the next 25 years kissing boo boos and telling stories and making fish fingers. But lately I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s not too late to dream again. When the kids are all grown up, I want to have something to call my own. Something that has a bit of my heart and soul. Something I can keep doing till I’m really, really old.

I’m not sure what that is yet, but at least, I’m trying to figure it out before it’s too late. So I’m starting a bucket list. And when I’m done with it, I’ll start another. And another. And another. And then, I’ll do one more.

1. Join the circus for a day

2. Build a life-sized snowman

3. Learn photography (with a proper DSLR camera)

4. Write for the New York Times

5. Do stand-up comedy even if nobody laughs

6. Spend a night in Yosemite

7. Hot air ballooning

8. Visit Israel and take a dip in the Dead sea

9. Watch a match at Old Trafford and scream myself crazy

10. Grow my own vegetables. In my own garden.

11. Shoot a short film

12. Start a beach bonfire and snuggle up all warm and cosy

13. Skinny dipping

14. Drive a formula one car

15. Publish a book

16. Travel for a year

17. Be a mascot in Disneyland

18. Ride a mechanical bull

19. Attend the Academy Awards

20. Follow a band on tour

21. Build a large ass sandcastle

What’s in your bucket list?