Kidspeak

Miss Motor Mouth

Back when I was a kid, Asian parents were big on the “kids should be seen and not heard” philosophy and much as my parents tried to be progressive, we were often made aware of the fact that talking back was a sign of disrespect. We didn’t have open discussions about bedtime or how much soda was considered to be the acceptable limit for a child.

We were told exactly what to do, how to do it and when we had to get it done. A lot of it seemed arbitrary, but we did as we were told and if we didn’t agree, well, that was just unfortunate. For us, mostly.

I suspect that if I was left to my own devices, I would have been a smart-assed mouthy kid but my parents had the foresight not to leave me to my own devices.

I figured that when I had my own kids, the cycle of bossing would be complete and it would be my turn to be the boss of them. If they questioned me, I would nod thoughtfully and say “Because mommies are smarter and one day when you grow up, you’ll understand why you have to wear pants in public. For now, you’ll just have to do as I say.” Or if I wanted to be dramatic, I’d go with a definitive “Don’t question me, young man. I. am. your. mother.”

For the most part, that works on Tru so he’ll sigh audibly and say “Ok fine, I will, I will.”

Kirsten, on the other hand, is exactly like me, except possibly mouthier. Which is very jarring because she looks so tiny and harmless but then once she opens her mouth, she throws these verbal curve balls that stump us a little.

Me: Sweetie, it’s time for your nap. Take your duck duck and go lie down.

Kirsten: Huh, so early? Why I need to nap so early?

Me: It’s the same time you nap everyday. You need to sleep or you’ll be tired.

Kirsten: But I’m not tired. See, my eyes are so big.

Me: You’ll be tired later. Mommy knows better ok, just go to sleep.

Kirsten: How come sometimes I don’t need to sleep then sometimes I have to sleep?

Me: It’s… complicated. Don’t question me, I am your mother.

Kirsten: I just play toys for 10 minutes, if I’m tired I will sleep ok.

***

While playing a water shooting game with the husband at the pool

Kirsten: DADDY YOU CANNOT SHOOT ME!!!

Husband: Why not? We’re just playing…

Kirsten: IT’S NOT NICE TO SHOOT PEOPLE YOU KNOW?!!

Husband: You were having fun shooting at me just now.

Kirsten: But you’re so big and I’m just a small girl. I can shoot you but you cannot shoot me back.

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11 Comments

  • Reply Katriina May 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Kirsten sounds smart and sassy and excellent. I love it when kids come up with irrefutable logic. The other killer is those kids who don’t ask for permission to do something, but rather just inform you of their plans. My 6 year old has a friend like this, and since my kids are still a bit timorous in the face of adult authority, this child knocks me for six every time… “Emily’s Mummy, I will borrow this large pile of Emily’s toys and DVDs and take them home with me”; “Emily’s Mummy, I’m going to make my own dinner without any rice or veges, and I will have two big cookies for dessert.” I have no doubt this child will go far.

    • Reply Daphne May 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm

      LOL the kid sounds like a riot! It’s strangely effective though…it’s like they’re stating a fact and they don’t even give you a chance to refuse.

  • Reply Bun Bun Makeup Tips May 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    This girl has a mind of her own! She’s all ‘I’ll do my own thang and nobody ain’t gonna stop me’. =D
    Bun Bun Makeup Tips´s last post ..Makeup Tutorial: MAC Goldmine, MUG Peacock, Shimma Shimma, Urban Decay Smog

    • Reply Daphne May 2, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      Yes she does! I’m still not sure if it’s a good thing. Not so good for me I guess

  • Reply Tina May 2, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    After a recent tongue lashing and time out for hitting his sister, my four year old says to me (all teary eyed and dramatic) “why would you do that to me? I am you boy!” Oh brother!!

  • Reply Sherlyn May 2, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Kids grow up too fast these days!! :)

  • Reply Daphne Maia May 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    Hahaha Kirsten is such a smart kid. Awesome!
    Daphne Maia´s last post ..Finding that blogging mojo back

  • Reply Susan May 2, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    She’s a smart little lady. Well think of it this way, in future she’ll always have a come back when she gets cheesy pick up lines and can tell the guys to buzz off but in a nice way.
    Susan´s last post ..When was the last time you dated your spouse?

  • Reply lilsnooze May 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Aaaah, the things they do/say to get out of nap time! Recently I was telling Nat something and his reply :: “Mummy? What are you talking about!? It’s not this way….” And with the slang. Yes, a slang, after a month in school!
    lilsnooze´s last post ..On a mission this morning

  • Reply Elaine May 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    You just confirmed my suspecion that the moment my issue of having to decipher Sophia’s screams go away (because she can tell me exactly what she wants with actual words), more issues will pop up to take their place. At the moment they remain happy (funny) issues for us as readers of yout blog though. :)
    Elaine´s last post ..Casa Verde

  • Reply Summer May 4, 2012 at 1:21 am

    Haha Kirsten’s so cute and witty. I half suspect all kids are because my girl has started talking back and asking all sorts of hard-to-answer questions when she’s only two. Like when I asked her to go take her bath, she says “Wait, I wanna play with toys.” After that I asked again, she motioned with her palm to my face “Mummy, give me five minutes, ok???” K-I-D-S. Hope all’s well with baby finn btw!
    Summer´s last post ..Denmark – An Easter holiday with lions, water slides and zillions of Lego bricks

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