Recently, Truett and Kirsten have been wanting to snuggle up in bed with me while I caught up on some of my dramas – and I’ve let them. I’m really good at watching dramas so I feel a need to share this particular expertise with them while they’re young.
Some parents say watching TV is a waste of time, that’s nonsense. You learn so much about life from watching TV (*I’m going to throw in a caveat here that you have to watch the right shows). Most of what I know about medicine, I learnt from Grey’s Anatomy. Law and politics, from The Good Wife. Government, from Parks & Rec. Parenting, from Gilmore Girls. Psychopathic serial killers, from Criminal Minds. Meth and money laundering, from Breaking Bad. How to properly insult someone like a British aristocrat, from Downton Abbey. All important life lessons. Mostly.
Right now, the only shows I let them co-watch are Parks & Recreation and a bit of Downton Abbey, and only the safe for kids parts. I’m not that liberal. I also happen to be an expert at the side-scrolling fast forward move on my mac when one of those NSFK parts are about to pop up.
This one scene in Parks & Rec, Leslie and Ben were bantering in one of those “are they going to kiss, are they not?” moments. Before I could decide if it warranted some side-scrolling action…
Truett: Eww EWWW EEEWWWW I think they are going to kiss!!
Kirsten: *giggle giggle*
Truett: They’re doing it! They are really kissing!!
Kirsten: *makes the kissing gesture with all 10 fingers pressed together* smooch smooch kissy kissy…
Truett: I bet ther saliva will mix together, how gross it that?
Kirsten: Yeah it’s so gross I can’t even look!
Me: Eh, you guys don’t be so dramatic. Daddy and mommy kiss all the time, it’s what married people do.
Truett: Mouth kissing is ewwww, I hope I’ll never have to do it.
Me: Oh trust me, you’ll change your mind soon enough.
Kirsten: I’ll surely not let anyone kiss me forever.
Me: Your father will be so happy to hear that. But don’t worry, you’ll want to retract that statement in a couple of years, hopefully 20 or so. Hey you guys, does that mean you won’t let mommy kiss you anymore? I’ll be terribly sad.
Truett: *thinks really hard* Mommies can kiss but it has to be a small teeny weeny kiss. You must make your lips really tiny and after that I’ll faster wipe my lips.
Me: I’ll spare you the agony, we’ll do cheek kissing from now on, how about that?
Kirsten: Ya, cheeks are easier to wipe and not so gross.
Me: Wow thanks! That’s not hurting my feelings at all! For the record, I never ever put my saliva on you ok, it’s a very dry, light peck.
Truett and Kirsten: *makes vomit faces at each other and giggles*
Me: Urgh KIDS!!