I try not to rave too much about my babies…okay that is totally not true and I rave about my babies every chance I get, but consider this my full on rave mode because this baby right here is in the most perfect stage (she’s been for the past year or so). She brings me so much joy but at the same time, every day that passes makes me a little sad knowing that I have one less day left of her babyness.
As it is, I’m devastated that I’m done having more babies and will henceforth have to be content with holding other people’s babies. I’m now the kind of person who does a double take when I walk past a newborn.
Nobody’s newborns are safe from now on – friends who have newborns know that I’ll be all over them in a heartbeat and even strangers, well let’s just say that I may or may not have used my baby as bait to start up a conversation.
Having big kids is great and I’m all for the benefits like savouring my full nights of sleep or having some semblance of my life back but I’m not prepared for this sadness that comes with letting go of 10 years of enjoying the weight of a tiny baby on my chest any time I want.
Hayley is a everything I could possibly want in a baby right now. She is so easy that it makes my life easy and some days I wonder if it’s because I’m a much better mom than I was when I started (those days were brutal) or if it’s just that this baby is such a dream. Probably the second one.
Here’s what a day with this baby looks like:
– go for walks along the Punggol waterway where she tells me about fending off lizards and alligators. (It’s my duty to prepare her for life’s catastrophes so she knows that if she’s ever attacked by an alligator, she needs to “JAB IT IN THE NOSE SO IT WILL LET GO AND RUN AWAY!!“)
– have snacks!! This baby is a snack monster whose entire life is about eating more snacks. “I haven’t had gummies for a long time (not true, it’s only been 24 hours)”, “how about tomatoes? Tomatoes are good for you right?“, “Is that chocolate?? I love chocolate it’s so delicious!”
On the topic of gummies, she will try to pick out clumps of gummies that got stuck together after being in the fridge and try to pass them off as 1 gummy. “Look, this is stuck together into 1 piece so I have no choice but to take it.” Even when they’re not stuck, she will pick one piece and roll it around the bag like a katamari in hope of picking up more pieces. It’s genius.
– have a nap. Her, not me, although one of these days I’ll just live dangerously and join her for a nap.
– have fun with all the other kids. Her favourite time of the day is when everyone is back from school.
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– fix dinner. I remember a time where fixing dinner was an ordeal, having to bounce a fussy baby while scrambling to throw stuff into a pan. These days, she enjoys helping to crack eggs and wash rice and hold vegetables to determine how squishy they are. And me, I just enjoy the company.
She hardly ever has a bad day. No terrible twos to speak of, no meltdowns or overall grouchiness. One time, she woke up 20 minutes into a nap and was generally upset at everything so I recommended a follow up nap to solve the problem. She laid down next to me, then sat right up and said, “I don’t need to nap, mom. I won’t be grouchy any more.”
“Are you sure? You’ll feel better after a nap and I’ll be right here till you fall asleep.”
“I’m sure. I will be cheerful now,” she told me, flashing me a huge grin.
It was worth a shot and just like that, she was in a fabulous mood for the rest of the day. Later that day, she came up to me looking very pleased and said, “see, I told you I will be cheerful right? I did it.”
I have to give it to this kid. She’s made the experience of having a last baby pretty perfect.